Write out in a journal at home everything the office bully does to make your life miserable. Get angry, write out all the stuff you'd like to say but can't because it's at work. Vent already!
Step2
Now that you've gotten the emotion out, look at everything you wrote down for what the bully actually DOES rather than how you feel about it. Verbal bullying can be handled by laughing along with them, thus taking the wind out of their sails. Another option is ignoring them with the addition of an imperious stare (practice in mirror at home). Of course the solution I recommend most, tell the bully to stop, NOW, in a quiet, measured tone of voice. Inform the bully that he or she is making you uncomfortable, and if it doesn't stop you will take measures against the behaviour. It is against most companies' policies for any employee to contribute to an uncomfortable or harassing work environment, and most places have an office to report such things to if the chain of command doesn't work.
Step3
If the bully goes so far as to sabotage your work production, you must take steps immediately. Use the reporting option above, and strategize to not allow said bully access to your desk, your materials, and most of all, your self-respect. Bullies aren't enemies, they are injured people who are trying to make you feel what they do. If you treat them like enemies, that just gives them the validation they are looking for. If you treat them like problems on the same level as your computer glitch, it generally tends to a) fix the problem and b)make you feel better that the bully did not get to you.
Step4
If you do report it to your boss or further up, the company has to fix the problem, and you have to allow the time needed to do so. If the problem does not get fixed, report again. Keep reporting each week it continues. The bully will be restrained, terminated, or you have legal rights from there. However, using those legal rights is expensive, difficult, and time consuming. If the bully keeps going, I'd suggest looking for a new job if possible. You don't need this grief.
Step5
Do not let bullies push their pain or problems off on you. Pat yourself on the back for being a self-respecting human being who stands up for your boundaries in a sane, respectful way.
Tips & Warnings
Most bullies get more annoyed by saintly patience than just about anything else
Never, ever, ever let them know it hurt.
DO NOT lose your temper outside of your own home, preferably in a private room. You cannot descend to their level, you cannot let them goad you, and you cannot jeopardize your career or social life over bullies.
Remember to be your usual sweet self to all co-workers who are not bullying. Let the bullies act the idiot.
on 10/5/2007
This one is so important. These tips sound like they'd be just as effective in nonwork situations like schools, clubs, community organizations and churches. Anywhere there is an organization, there will be some responsibility and liability for harassment.
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Comments
juliesam3 said
on 12/14/2007 Good tips! I agree with robertsloan2.
robertsloan2 said
on 10/5/2007 This one is so important. These tips sound like they'd be just as effective in nonwork situations like schools, clubs, community organizations and churches. Anywhere there is an organization, there will be some responsibility and liability for harassment.