How to Cheat on a Girlfriend

Cheating on your girlfriend need not be the end of your relationship. Whatever your motivation--be it boredom, spite, revenge, or something else--there are smart ways to commit infidelity. It's time to combine the comfort of a long-term relationship with all the benefits of being a fun-loving bachelor!

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. Commit to cheating. Once you decide to stray, there's no going back. If you're going to be successful, you must commit to a possible lifetime of lies and secrecy.
2. Prepare your alibis in advance. No matter how trusting your current girlfriend is, always prepare a lie to explain your whereabouts when you've been out cheating. Hesitation and convoluted babbling tends to arouse suspicions.
3. Use text messages. Text messages are your friend. You can sit at home with one girl while text messaging another, and neither will be the wiser. Texting allows you to avoid suspicious phone calls, and traceable email messages.
4. Be choosy in your venues. Don't go out on dates with one girl to places where the other girl (or her friends) might run into you. Try to date girls who live in different towns, or who hang out at different types of venues.
5. Don't tell either girl that there's another. This is the best route to take, if possible. If one girl knows she's the "other woman," and the relationship sours, you could be setting yourself up for blackmail, vengeance phone calls to the girl you stay with, or worse!

Tips & Warnings

• Cheating on your girlfriend is a lot of work. If you find yourself with a strong desire to cheat on the person you're with, take that as a sign to seriously examine the relationship you're in. Maybe it's time to simply break up with her--it might be the easier, more decent solution.