How to Break Up Through Email

If you've ever gone through with ending a relationship, you know Neil Sedaka was right: breaking up is hard to do. Though the best—albeit, the hardest—way to break up is in person. If circumstances don't allow for a face-to-face discussion, or if you're simply too chicken to break up this way, you can break up through email. Arguably, this is not the preferred way. But if you must, here's how.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

1. Decide if breaking up is what you really want to do. Make sure you're not having a knee-jerk reaction to a recent spat or disagreement. Sit down and analyze the relationship, and be sure you're doing the right thing by breaking up.

2. Give facts when discussing the break up. Shorter is better when breaking up through email. It's hard for the other person to dispute facts.

3. Refrain from asking questions in the email such as "This relationship hasn't been right for a long time. Do you agree?" Doing so invites a response, which is not what you want. You want to avoid an email "argument" that can ensue after you send an email breakup message.

4. Take the other person's feelings into account. Use phrases that show you are sensitive to the other person such as "I think this is best for you" or "I know how you are feeling." Be firm but compassionate.

5. Repeat that the relationship is over in every subsequent email should you get involved in an email debate with the person over the breakup.

Tips & Warnings

• Break up in person, if at all possible. It is not considered proper social etiquette to break up through email, text messaging or over the phone.
• Don't go off into long personal discussions or explanations when breaking up over email.
• Putting a break up in writing allows for the words to come back to haunt you later. Once it's written, it's done. Choose your words carefully. Don't write anything you may regret later.
• Emails can be forwarded—know that, if the other person chooses, he or she can forward your message to other people. Decide how personal you want to get, knowing that there's a chance other people may read your message.
• If the relationship is definitely at an end, don't give the other person any indication otherwise.

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on 6/2/2008 I find this method of breaking up despicable. I recently went through a break up of sorts myself, and recieved an email announcing the end of relationship. People in our society have enough issues dealing with responsibilty. It's a cheap way of being let off the hook, and very cowardly and disrespectful to the other person. If you were man or woman enough to ask them out in the first place, then be a better person and show this person the respect they deserve.