How to Handle a Perfectionist Child
For a perfectionist child who feels she must be the master of details, dealing with the frustration of when things don't go her way can be an overwhelming experience and a catalyst for future failures. Likewise, the parent of a perfectionist child is often at a loss as to how best to handle her child's meticulous behavior.
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Instructions
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Don't expect too much from your child. Naturally, a child wishes to appease the adults in her life. However, high expectations may very well impress upon your child that there is little room for error. Praise the process instead of the result.
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Help your child to think of more than one possible solution to the same problem. Likewise, instill the belief that disagreeing about those answers is okay. For example, if your child is playing blocks with a friend, help her to see that there is more than one way to create a house.
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Encourage your child to see beyond imperfections. Perfectionist children tend to become mired by imperfections, therefore finding little that is worthy of praise both in her work and herself. If your child is upset she didn't score a perfect grade on a spelling test, help her to focus on the words she spelled correctly. Praise her effort.
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Create disorder. For the perfectionist child who needs to have everything "just so," encourage her to see her surroundings from a different point of view. For example, if your child becomes upset if her dolls are out of order on the toy shelf, have her move a few to a bed or chair. Remind her that having things out of order is okay and can even be fun.
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