How to Help a Victim of Spousal Abuse

Although most victims of spousal abuse are women, there are some men who are also abused by their wives. It is important to remember that whether the abused person is a man or a woman, they are living a life of fear and often will need help to get themselves away from the abuser.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

1. Validate the person's fear. Spousal abuse is a very frightening thing to live with and it is often very hard for the abused person to talk about the abuse. Let her know that fear is a very normal response and it is okay for her to be afraid.
2. Try not to let the abuser keep you away from the victim. Most abusers will isolate their victim from friends, family and any other support network they might have. It is important that you not allow this to happen to you. Even if it means you have to sneak to see her behind his back.
3. Be a good listener. When the victim is ready to talk about the abuse, it is important that he has someone who is willing to listen.
4. Provide information about restraining orders, local shelters and support groups in the area.
5. Support her needs even if she is not ready to leave the abuser yet. Understand that leaving is often hard and it might take time before she is ready to get herself out of the relationship. It is also possible she might leave and then return to the abuser again. This can be very frustrating for the person trying to help, but it is important to stay supportive.
6. Help the victim to build self esteem. A trip to the beauty parlor for a new hair style or a day spent shopping for some new clothes, can be a great esteem builder.
7. Recommend that when she is ready to leave she get as far away as possible. If she has relatives in another state that would be a good place to go. If she will be going to a woman's shelter, she should go to one in a different county. Usually the abuser will try to get the victim back. The further away she is the harder it is for him to succeed.

Tips & Warnings

• It is important to be patient when helping a victim of spousal. Healing, both physically and emotionally takes time. Do not give up on the person.