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Step 1
Look the part. You won't be pimping for long without sporting the necessary threads. Get your hands on a fur coat, two fingered diamond ring, dark pair of shades, gold plated walking cane, platform shoes and some skin tight flares. Top it all off with a nice wide brimmed leopard hat and you'll be looking ice cold.
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Step 2
Talk the part. To walk the walk you gotta know the talk. Use these classic pimp quotes to get the ladies calling: "It's my duty to please that booty," "Carry a cane to keep 'em sane," "Slide in my ride and let's roll for a stroll," and "Room is the key when you're hung to the knee."
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Step 3
Drive the ultimate pimp mobile. Turn in your gas saving Corolla for a classic Chevy Impala. Deck it out with chrome rims, tinted windows, ground effects and a base thumping system and you'll be cruising for hoes in no time.
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Step 4
Get a hoe. According to Gordon Jenkins of Pimp Central, "Owning a hoe is what constitutes being a pimp...they go hand in hand." Look for hoe signs such as girls with obscenely tight clothes, who routinely walk on all fours and who greet you with a crotch pat.
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Step 5
Make hot sweet monkey love. According to pimp expert Jenkins, this is the "most important tool a pimp will ever use." Put on some soft soul music, oil up your lady and let out the pimp in you.
