How to Cope with a Bisexual Husband

Unless a bisexual or bi-curious husband is upfront from the beginning, many wives discover a partner's activity through emails or website browser histories. Such a discovery produces a range of emotions from betrayal to guilt. There is help for partners who must cope with a bisexual husband.

Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

• Online support group
• Counseling (if desired)

1. Take some time with the knowledge of bisexual or bi-curious activity before deciding what to do. While it's difficult to live with the many questions a discovery produces, it's a good idea to do an initial sorting of your own feelings about it.
2. Obtain information. While actual statistics are hard to find, it's certainly not uncommon to have a bisexual or bi-curious husband.
3. Talk to your partner. Choose a time when you are calmer, present the information you have and ask questions.
4. Get counseling. Psychologists, psychiatrists and social workers can help you sort out your feelings.
5. Join a support group. There are a number of online groups for straight wives of bisexual husbands. Learn from the experiences of others, ask questions, get advice and generally get some company from others in the same situation.
6. Avoid big decisions on the relationship for a while. You may find you don't want to change the marriage situation, and this is okay. Or, you may feel you need some space for a while. Your feelings can change with time.

Tips & Warnings

• Prepare for your husband's reluctance to discuss his orientation. This makes it harder for you to cope. At the very least, you have the right to a discussion on his commitment to your relationship.
• Many women stay married to their husbands in relationships that are nearly as good as they were before the discovery. Much of this depends on how you feel about the situation and the man in your life.
• Guilt is one of the emotions wives feel because they figure they "caused" their husbands to seek out bisexual or bi-curious activity in some way. Don't take delivery on this.
• Remember, online chat groups provide you with anonymity. This may be a better place to cope.