How to Handle a Prima Donna
In the world of interpersonal relations, we all deal with the complexities of cooperation. Every once in awhile one pops up: a Prima Donna, a go-it-alone type, possibly with delusions of personal grandeur, a narcissist with no feelings for the needs of others, an attention-grabber hogging the limelight. The term prima donna, originally used in stage terminology, means just that: a look-out-for-number-one individual who feels his or her needs are above the needs of the community. Dealing with a prima donna involves intelligence, diplomacy, and patience.
Instructions
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Be assertive. A prima donna will walk all over people he/she considers compliant. Stick up for yourself and others in situations where the prima donna tries to get the upper hand.
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Challenge the prima donna when necessary. In situations that involve a high level of cooperation, find specific talking points to go over that show a prima donna when he/she is being unreasonable. Involve the person in frank conversations about the role of each person in a project.
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Try compromises. Think up reasonable compromises that may appeal to everyone and advance these as solutions or options. When there is a problem, the group may embrace your ideas and the problems can be solved quickly. Be fair and direct.
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Don't fan the flames needlessly. You might sometimes be tempted to take a battle to the prima donna to fix some tricky problem "once and for all." Avoid giving in to these impulses and continue the hard work of making suggestions and diplomatic criticisms. Getting into a war of words with the prima donna can be a recipe for disaster.
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Make a final decision. When you have been involved with a project for a while, and working with a prima donna for any length of time, decide whether you can "handle" the person relatively well, or if you should drop either the project or the person, depending on who has creative control and ultimately is responsible for making decisions. It may be that you can get the problem individual re-assigned, or get yourself out of the equation. Consider all aspects of the problem and take action accordingly.
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Resources
Comments
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jasminemars
Oct 05, 2008
Great article! I am trying to deal with a prima donna myself, currently, and it is maddening. Working with a prima donna is sometimes necessary, but a real downer. If avoiding contact with a prima donna is a viable possibility, that should be the way to go. -
jasminemars
Oct 05, 2008
Great article! I am trying to deal with a prima donna myself, currently, and it is maddening. Working with a prima donna is sometimes necessary, but a real downer. If avoiding contact with a prima donna is a viable possibility, that should be the way to go.