How to Deal With Judgmental People

Judgmental people don't always mean to hurt you. Your mother and father want the best for you, so they tell you what they think of everything you do based on their experience. But judgmental people, especially family, can really cause damage unless you are proactive. Here are strategies to prevent their judgments from hampering your life.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. Work on your self-esteem. This is the key to dealing with judgmental people. Have a firm idea of your abilities, limitations, beliefs and values. This shields you from people who try to make you feel small so they feel superior.

2. Stay calm no matter what the situation. It's best to buy as much time as you can before responding. You don't have to answer your boss's critical email right away. You don't have to deal with your mother's assessment of your fiancé at the moment she gives it.

3. Develop a sense of humor. Other people's judgments can be comical when they're completely irrelevant to what you believe or experience. Your father's opinion of why you should go back to school is funny when you know that you have no interest in going back to school even if someone paid you.

4. Consider the judgmental person's authority if it's a work situation. Your supervisor's criticism is worth acknowledging quietly if it keeps you from losing your job.

5. Choose your battles carefully. Your aunt's judgment on your career choice at Christmas dinner may be worth fighting if you're not close and it gives you the chance to express yourself in front of the entire family.

6. Recognize it's their problem no matter what the situation. Their judgments reflect their own lack of self-esteem. Distance yourself from their destructive behavior by realizing you haven't done anything wrong.

7. Nurture yourself so you don't buy into the hurtful opinions of judgmental people out of stress or insecurity. Daily meditation is a great way to let go of negativity. The Learning Meditation site has audio and text files to get you started (see link in Resources).

Tips & Warnings

• A judgmental personality has deep roots so arguments are generally not an effective way to deal with these people.
• Don't let workplace authority keep you in a bad situation. Your self-esteem is worth more than a particular job.

Resources

• More About Self-esteem to Combat Judgmental People
• Daily Meditation Tips

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[bakerthebrand]

on 10/10/2009 Choose your battles carefully I believe is a major one. This post was very thorough and well though out. 5 stars.