How to Help a Boy Deal With Bullies
While it's becoming more common knowledge that girls--and not just boys--have a culture of bullying, the types of things boy bullies do are more characteristic of the stereotypical definition of bullying. Boy bullying tends to be less psychological, more physical and less sneaky than girl bullies. So while boy bullying may be easier to spot, it doesn't necessarily make it easier to deal with.
Other People Are Reading
Instructions
-
-
1
Create a home environment in which your son feels safe and secure confiding in you. This isn't something that can be achieved overnight. This is something you need to work on from the time your son is a young boy.
-
2
Realize that despite your best efforts to build open channels of communication, your son may not be comfortable talking to you about bullies. He may be afraid of being humiliated or picked on worse than he already is. He may even be afraid that you will think he is weak or a wimp.
-
-
3
Recognize the behavioral signs that your son is being bullied. Boys who act withdrawn, are afraid to go to school or who find excuses to skip school may be getting bullied. Also, boys who begin lashing out at family members may be being bullied.
-
4
Look for physical signs of bullying. Does your son have unexplained cuts and bruises? Are his clothes torn? These signs may mean bullies are targeting your son.
-
5
Ask your child directly if he is being bullied. Let him know that you are concerned about him, that you love him and that it is OK for him to tell you about school bullies who may be bothering him.
-
6
Support your son with good advice, and let him be your guide to how involved you should become in managing the situation. If he wants to try to resolve it on his own, let him try. But keep a close eye on his behavior, make his teachers quietly aware of the situation, and keep an open line of communication between you, your son and his teachers at all times.
-
7
Discuss with your son the need to get school administrators involved. He may balk at the suggestion, but if physical violence is involved, if your son starts showing signs of depression or anxiety or if his schoolwork begins to be affected, you need to be ready to pull rank and call out the big guns.
-
1
Tips & Warnings
Before you involve school administrators, familiarize yourself thoroughly with the school's bullying policy. It is usually possible to have an informal discussion with a trusted administrator before you pursue any formal complaints against the bullies.
Physical violence, even when done under the umbrella of bullying or "boys will be boys," is assault. You may wish to consider channels of recourse outside of the school process for dealing with bullies, including filing police reports and pursuing having charges brought against the bully.
Give your son opportunities to develop positive self-esteem through sports, music or other extra curricular activities in areas of his interest.
Be aware that pursuing a formal complaint against a bully or group of bullies could put wheels in motion that will have unintended consequences. The bullying may escalate, and your son and your family need to have a plan in place beforehand for how to respond to this.
Make sure you are familiar with and are on the lookout for the signs of depression. Some boys (and girls) who are bullied become depressed, and some even go so far as to commit suicide. For more information on bullies, cyberbullies and youth suicide prevention, visit the memorial website for Ryan Patrick Halligan, a 13-year-old boy from Vermont who committed suicide after being bullied for years.
