How to Cope With a Lying Lover
Your heart skipped a beat the minute you found out. You shook your head in despair, but it was true, your lover was lying. Maybe it was about sex, maybe it was about money, but none the less, dishonesty is the start of the end of a relationship. Here are a few tips on how to deal with a lying lover.
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Instructions
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1
Confirm your suspicion. The next worst thing to a lying lover is an accusatory one that is wrong. So be sure of your facts regarding what they are lying about. It could seriously back fire if you are proved wrong.
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2
Collect the evidence on your lying lover. There is no perfect crime, meaning there is always some piece of evidence that you can find. You may have to follow them if they're having sex with someone or hack their passwords if they are secretly spending money. Whatever the lie, get the evidence to support your argument.
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3
Confront your lover in a non-threatening manner. Don't stand in front of them with the meat cleaver, demanding answers. Bring it up casually in conversation. Maybe over dinner, maybe on a lazy Sunday morning. Find a time and place when they are calm and can give you the attention this issue deserves. Be ready for a less than pleasant reaction. If you can keep your emotions in check, it will go a long way to setting the tone for the conversation.
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4
Support your argument with your evidence. Before the conversation goes far down the road, present your evidence, whether it be pictures of sex, or copies of cashed checks. If you are dealing with a liar, then they will certainly try and lie their way out of it. So the sooner you present the evidence, the sooner you will force them to accept their wrong-doing.
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Keep the conversation focused. Another tactic a liar uses is changing the subject or shifting the blame back to you. You cannot allow this to happen. It must be dealt with before you can even begin to think about the next step.
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Determine where the relationship goes from here. Because you are catching the liar, you probably have the advantage in the situation. Therefore, it is up to you to decide if you want to continue with this lying lover. This is truthfully a decision only you can make after weighing all of the pros and cons.
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Move on with your life. Whether you stay with the person or leave them, the worst thing you can do is wallow in the past, as it will only keep you stuck in the past. Make a conscious effort to move forward.
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Tips & Warnings
If you can't stomach the thought of spying on your lover having sex with someone else, hire a private eye. There are plenty in any phone book. Just be sure to get a referral before hiring them.
