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Step 1
Be open and honest about your beliefs with the person you're dating. Tell the person upfront that you believe in abstinence dating and do not plan to have sex before marriage. Doing so will allow you to understand the person's own beliefs and decide if he is a good match for you. If the match isn't right, you may be able to pursue a friendship instead of a romantic relationship.
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Step 2
Make a commitment to remain abstinent with the person you're dating. If she shares and respects your goal to practice abstinence dating, it will be easier to remain true to these beliefs. Outlining the specific details of this commitment will help you both understand the level of commitment you are making.
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Step 3
Plan dates that allow you to enjoy time together in public. Sexual temptations will be much more difficult to resist if the two of you spend time completely alone at home, so it's best to find activities that allow you to be around other people. Restaurants, malls and parks are good places to enjoy non-sexual conversation and entertainment while getting to know each other better.
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Step 4
Allow yourself time to get to know each other without the pressures of sexual activity. Taking the emphasis off your bodies and physical desires will give you the opportunity to get to know each other by talking about yourselves, sharing your personal thoughts and beliefs and telling stories about your past experiences. This type of sharing will only deepen the emotional attachment between the two of you, while being free of the inner turmoil and confusion that sex can often bring to a situation.
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Step 5
Introduce each other to your respective families, as family-friendly activities will discourage sexual activity. If you do plan to get married to this person, it will be important to allow your family to get to know her and to be sure that you all get along. Your family is likely to know you well and will be able to give you advice about who might be best for you as a partner.
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Step 6
Find books you both enjoy reading. Reading together is a great activity for couples, as it allows for solitary entertainment while still enjoying each other's company. You can also take turns reading the same books so you can share your opinions and thoughts about each one.
Comments
kikkydee said
on 7/13/2009 I am a divorced 32 year old with two kids and have recently decided to abstain from sex untill I am married again. I know....a bit late now!!! I have recently started dating someone way younger that also has the same beliefs as I have....can this relationship work? I obviously have a harder time abstaining than he has!!
josephmjenkins said
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brantozeke said
on 10/20/2008 Wow... you and the old About.com Conservative Politics guide think a lot alike! :D Actually, I'm honored that you liked the article enough to use the same ideas here. I was going to do the same, but you beat me to it.
-The old About.com Conservative Politics guide
bollarnlefash said
on 7/31/2008 true.true!