Love: First let's preface this 'How To' with an understanding of Love. There is Love, the emotion, and there is Love, the action. "He who loves his wife loves himself"(1). This is the emotion. Most do not have to choose to love themselves, rather they have just grown quite attached to themselves and sincerely do not wish to do harm to themselves. In fact, they would do anything to avoid it. When Paul writes to love your wife in this way, he means that in every situation you should desire that no harm befall your wife.
When you are married, you truly do become one. If you do not act as one, then that is against the nature of marriage and it will be painful. The following is logical deduction of the husband's part of the equation, the equation being 100% + 100% = 100%. Please read all the way to the bottom and I am sure you will count yourself blessed.
Things You'll Need
- Ears to listen
- A heart for action
- A wife would help too.
Here is the action, the command. "Love your wives"; give yourself up for her(2). The command to love means to do love. What would make others see love in what you do, that would make your wife feel love, is how you do love. In simplest form, bring her flowers and tell her, "I love you." That's just a start though. You are also commanded to give yourself up for her. The obvious implication is that you should be willing to die for her. This is actually common. What is more difficult than dying? Give your life for her. In all you do, do it with the interests of your wife in mind.
(1) Ephesians 5:28
(2) Ephesians 5:25
Forgiveness and Radiance: Have a heart for your wife. This again is the emotion of love. "Make her holy, cleansing her"(3). "Present her...without stain or wrinkle"(4). When your wife is in need of it, cleanse her; forgive her, when she acts against you. For example, you ask your wife to get you steak at the store and you get mad because she says that you eat too much red meat. Forgive and forget. Don't allow yourself to harbor any bitterness and you will feel the love for your wife.
(3) Ephesians 5:26
(4) Ephesians 5:27
The Head: Many people read this section first and stop. "Wives submit to your husbands" (5). And then they stop there. There is a whole other study for the wives. The implication in this passage is that if the man truly loves his wife (that's the action and the emotion), the wife will gladly submit to the man.
(5) Ephesians 5:22
1) Don't harbor bitterness and you will be happier.
2) Consider your wife's best interests throughout the day and your wife will be happier.
3) A happy wife really is a happy husband.
Tips & Warnings
- Have your wife read this article on how to submit to your husband. http://www.ehow.com/how_2094401_submit-husband.html
- Walk through this together and keep open communication at all times.
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