How to Talk to Girls on the Street

There's only 2 reasons you might have never thought about meeting an attractive woman in the street. 1) You're lying that you haven't 2) You're in denial. Now, I'm obviously taking a cheap joke at you here, but the truth is that yes... If you're attracted to women, you have seen many attractive ones in everyday situations... And thought about meeting them.

So how do you do this? Here's a short tutorial.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Charisma
• Approaching skills
• Approaching confidence
• A social vibe

1. *Get prepared* One thing you have to realize is that everyday situations are the hardest place to talk to girls period! Its very easy to creep them out if you don't know what you're doing. Unless... you have great charisma and approaching skills.
   
   This is the what will make the difference between a woman bragging to all her friends about this romantic encounter in the supermarket... or... complaining about a creep bothering her at the supermarket.

2. Take a close look at your social and dating skills. I recommend taking an online quiz on assessing your approaching skills. I recommend some quizzes myself. See if you have the basic social skills down pat.

3. So how do you prepare and get these basic approaching, social and charismatic skills? Become a master at approaching and charming women in less-threatening situations. First and foremost go with: social organizations, social circles, clubs, yoga classes, dance clubs, friends of friends, and talk to girls there. Do all of this until you are at the point where you can approach any woman in these situations, and be able to have a charming, effortless conversation with her.

4. Once you're the kind of person who effortlessly communicates with women in all his social circles, its time to hit the streets!
   
   Don't be the creep hitting on random women. First, start talking to *everyone*. That means, I want you to start talking to the old lady waiting in line, the guy who's crossing the pedestrian walk along side you, the cashier checking out your order, the security guard at the entrance, the foreign girls in the tourist agency... You get the point.
   
   What do you talk to them about? Simple, innocuous comments and small-talk about whatever the situation happens to be around you will do just fine. For example: you pass by two women in the fruit aisle, and start asking them if they can recommend how to choose the best apples... or maybe seeing a guy carrying your favorite sport team's dress and chatting him up about it by throwing some comment at him that only "fans" can know.

5. Once you are a "natural" at being the cool guy who always seems to *naturally* find himself in charming conversations with the strangers throughout his life... you are ready to move on to the next step. Time to learn how to talk to the girls in these situations.
   
   Start out by doing the same as you did in step 2, only start doing it with women that usually intimidate you. Continue doing this until you find yourself being able to see any woman in any everyday situation, and purposefully go up to her and have a "chit-chat"... No matter how much she gives you "the butterflies"! Do this on purpose, until you no longer feel intimidated by any women, anywhere.
   
   I want you to purposefully find all situation that make you feel uneasy, and approach in these situations on purpose, until you're comfortable with any situation. Expand all your comfort zones.

6. Once you have expanded your comfort zones... STOP DOING IT! Yes, that's right, stop looking at women, running up to them and chatting with them. (no matter how charismatic it turns out). This was just to bust through your comfort zone.
   
   By the time you've consciously and progressively removed all your fears, you should find yourself "naturally" doing this. Most of your days (simply by virtue of the lifestyle you've built), you will end up talking to girls through out the natural course of the day. You'll do this without having to specifically go up and talk to them at parties and clubs. You'll just find yourself cracking a joke to the person standing next to you in line, or befriending the cashiers at the store. This is how it should be.

Tips & Warnings

• Remember, this guide presumes you're already talking to people on a regular basis through clubs, bars and parties and that you have a pretty decent love(sex)-life, you can take the quiz to find out
• Many men have been burned by trying to skip steps. The steps presented are there for a reason. A lot of men have become creeps by trying to skip over to hitting on random women on the streets without the basics. You need to learn how to have basic and advanced social and approaching know-how first!
• The streets are "expert" territory and this article is rated advanced. Unless you have basic charisma and charm under your belt, the odds are that if you go to approaching random women directly, you will simply creep out a ton of women, not get to talk to them... so don't do it... it's not respectful... It will waste you a lot of time going the wrong route.

Resources

• The Approaching Quiz, Find out how you stack up compared to other guys
• Basics of approaching girls
• How to Talk to Girls

[machak]

on 5/3/2009 Yes, its definetely not an easy area to get good at. I do think its well worth the effort though. I'm not there yet myself, but I have definetely seen benefits to having a greater choice of places and ways to meet people

[gorjan]

on 5/3/2009 Yoga clubs and all of the other social circles are definitely the best way to become more talkative and outgoing.But for people with extreme social phobia the best way to start approaching women on the street is by asking women for directions or asking for the time.Then you should try talking with them.Asking for directions is like a warm up before talking with women.

[HowToDating]

on 5/3/2009 In response to Tsuru's story: ****I met my current wife by approaching her in a book store. I saw her out front on the sidewalk right before the store opened - she really turned my head but I chickened out and she walked in the store before I could move. Fortunately I got a second chance because I saw her again in the store and this time I didn't choke. As was suggested in this article, I just went up to her and made small talk about the subject of the books in the section where we were both looking for a similar book. Got her number, etc and we've been together over 15 years. I met my previous wife the same way only in reverse - she approached me!****Very interesting story tsuru! Very inspiring. This is my goal with the article. Congrats on your success!

[HowToDating]

on 5/3/2009 Responding to: "This is murder for shy people like me. " ---> Hey man. Read the text again. I was socially anxious to the point of phobia yet passed most of these phases. This is FOR shy people, not for "anything but shy people".If you weren't, I'd just go directly to the last step. That's why you have progressive levels and steps. Unlike popular belief, shyness is not a biological trait, its just a set of habits, beliefs and attitudes.And being gregarious and outgoing is just a skill like any other. You can learn it the same way you can learn to play a guitar.Its just that a lot of us "naturally" shy people were busy acquiring other skills in the formative years. We got good at art, or programming or reading, when everyone was getting the skill of being an extrovert.That's why if you have been practicing some skill for many years, it starts feeling as if it were inborn. Its not real...

[HowToDating]

on 5/3/2009 Yes Haoie, unfortunately you're right. Its much easier said than done. Unfortunately the ehow-format forces us to simplify a subject into a short, simple 1-page overview.There are many traps, obstacles, pitfalls into doing many of these dating things. And It takes a lot of time, effort and energy to put them in use.In fact, many times it takes changing who you are as a person entirely. I wish there was a simple magical overnight solution. And a lot of guys want it. A lot of guys come to me and ask me "what's the perfect opening line". As if though a line can solve everything.The truth is that a lot of times, trying to follow "dating advice" turns into a life-time journey of self introspection and changing who you are altogether.It usually turns into Becoming a better, more mature, more evolved person. When you see that how people react to you has more to do with your intrinsic charac...