How to Write in the Snow

Writing one's name in the snow is a time-honored tradition passed down from father to son and, on rare occasions, from mother to daughter. These simple steps can help you master the fine art of writing your name in the snow.

Instructions

1. Drink up. You'll need a lot of "ink" if you are going to pull this off.

2. Find a nice blank spot in the snow. It should be free of all foot prints, animal tracks and have a nice smooth sheen to it.

3. Unzip your fly and take aim. Begin to urinate in the snow and wave your pen around spelling your name in cursive.

4. Drink up some more because that first one you made is going to look like crap. Don't worry, you get better the more drunk you get.

5. Find a new spot and repeat step 3.

6. Continue this process until your name looks better in the snow than your actual signature.

Tips & Warnings

• Get your hips into it, it can help you make nicer curves and straighter lines.

• Make sure you dot those "I"s and cross those "T"s. You'll have to pinch it off to accomplish this. It's going to hurt but you can't consider it a successful spelling until you've done it. Blame your parents for the pain, as they are the ones that gave you the name after all.

• Make sure no one is around you when attempting this. Your ink could get away from you and end up on an unsuspecting passerby that may beat you down.

• It's cold outside so things will shrink. Make sure you have a good grip on your pen.