How to End Teen Curfew Battles

Most teenagers are headstrong and fiercely independent. They learn to form their identities through social ties, which usually means they want to hang out with friends continually. Establishing a curfew is a challenge. Use these steps to avoid, or at least reduce, any disagreements.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. Keep the lines of communication open. Parents and teenagers who talk frequently are much less likely to experience fights over curfew guidelines. Don't let anger keep the two of your from discussing the subject.

2. Utilize your teenager's friends. Most curfew battles begin when a teenager feels his friends are staying out later. Talking to other parents to synchronize a "community" curfew makes everyone happy. Your teen will have an easier time heading home if everyone else must keep a similar curfew.

3. Consider flex time. Vary the curfew depending on the activity, the season or night of the week. Your teenager may stop arguing if you agree to a later curfew when she goes to the movies or a party. You also might impose a stricter curfew during the school year and more lenient rules in summer.

4. Draw up a contract. A teenager with a strong sense of independence may find this business-like approach to the problem appealing. Make sure the teen has a voice when the terms and conditions are drawn. Otherwise, a contract may appear manipulative and controlling.

5. Ease up for good behavior, crack down for tardiness. Many teenagers break their curfews by a few minutes, which creates tension and leads to arguments. While parents usually tighten the leash when a teen is late, they forget to loosen their grip for punctuality. Consider increasing privileges to reward your teen, just as you would take them away to discipline.

6. End the curfew battles by ending the curfew. Sometimes a curfew causes teens to feel like they are prisoners in their own homes. For some kids, it may be best to set boundaries nightly.

Tips & Warnings

• Parents may consider using other parent curfews to their advantage by making the curfew for their teenager later than normal. In this mild "reverse psychology" tactic, your teen may come home earlier than your curfew if his friends already have gone home.