How to Talk to a Therapist About Deviant Behavior

Talking about deviant behavior is a difficult and sometimes painful thing to do, even if the discussion is with a trusted therapist. However, in order to treat the behavior and understand its causes, it's important that you speak with your therapist about the behavior as honestly as possible. If you need to talk about deviant behavior with your therapist, follow these steps to make the process a little easier.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

1. Take your time. Many therapy patients experience an undue amount of pressure to spill their deepest, darkest psychological secrets to their therapist as soon as possible. However, it's important for both patient and therapist to build a rapport so that the discussion can be fruitful when it does eventually occur.
2. Make sure you're comfortable with your therapist. Therapists are people with different levels of training and talent. You should spend some time working with your therapist before you decide to discuss matters as serious as deviant behavior so you know that your therapist is right for you. If you decide the fit isn't good, try someone else who will likely be better.
3. Maintain perspective. It's important to remember that a therapist is a professional whose job it is to help you with problems such as deviant behavior. You should recognize that feelings of shame, even in a discussion with a therapist, are natural and are part of the process of psychotherapy. So, keep the discussion moving forward and try not to avoid your therapist's questions about the behavior.
4. Be honest. The most important thing in talking to a therapist about deviant behavior is being frank about the nature and frequency of the behavior. Misrepresenting the truth about the behavior will not only waste your time but can also end up making the patterns of deviant behavior worse and more deeply ingrained in your behavior. So be honest when you discuss the behavior and don't be afraid of telling your therapist if there is something you are not ready to talk about.

Tips & Warnings

• Understand that deviance is defined by social norms. What constitutes deviant behavior in restrictive societies, such as Amish communities or Muslim fundamentalists, may be viewed more tolerantly by the mainstream. Talking to a therapist can help you gain perspective as well as set goals for behavioral change.