How to Help a Spouse that is Abusing Alcohol

If you are in a marriage where your spouse is abusing alcohol you might be feeling angry and frustrated. These feelings can be directed at your spouse, or they might be directed at yourself. You might feel frustrated with your inability to help. While the desire to change needs to come from the person who has the abuse problem, there are some things that you can do to help.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. Reassure your spouse that you love him, even though you do not like his behavior. Chances are good that the abuse of alcohol has led to fighting and problems in the marriage. It is important to let him know that you still love him even though you are not willing to tolerate the alcohol abuse.
2. Offer to go to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings with your spouse. Alcoholics Anonymous, commonly called AA, is a support group for alcoholics and recovering alcoholics. Their step process helps people with alcohol abuse problems learn that they do not have control over their alcohol use and that abstinence is the only answer. If your spouse is hesitant to go, she might be more comfortable going if you attend with her.
3. Attend Al-Anon meetings yourself. Al-Anon is a support group for the spouses and family members of alcoholics. By attending these meetings you will learn to realize that you are not responsible for your spouse's alcohol abuse. Al-Anon helps members to build their self esteem. It is impossible to help someone else before you first help yourself to cope with the alcohol abuse.
4. Consider couples therapy. In addition to AA and Al-Anon, couples therapy can be a wonderful support group for alcohol abusers and their spouses. Through couples therapy you can learn to understand the behavior patterns that lead to drinking. Couples therapy can also help you and your spouse learn alternatives to drinking such as relaxation techniques.
5. Recommend that your spouse make an appointment with the family doctor. There are medications that can be prescribed to help someone who has a problem with alcohol abuse. One of these is called Disulfiram, also commonly known as Antabuse. This medication makes the person taking it sick if they drink alcohol, and is very effective in some cases. Your doctor might also prescribe an antidepressant if depression is a cause of, or side effect from, the alcohol abuse.

Tips & Warnings

• Violence is never acceptable in a marriage. If your spouse has become physically violent with you as a result of the alcohol abuse, you might have no choice but to remove yourself from the home until he seeks the help that he needs.