How to Avoid the Paparazzi

Once you become rich and famous you are going to have to learn to deal with the paparazzi. The paparazzi are determined and very good at what they do so there are many instances where you will have to grin and bear it. However, if you can stick to these steps, you can avoid the paparazzi.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. Act normal. The paparazzi are attracted to the weirdoes because they never know when they may get a picture of them hitting another car, passing out from alcohol or drugs, stripping, putting your children in danger or making out with other weirdoes. If you can keep yourself from making a spectacle of yourself, you can avoid the paparazzi.
2. Use a body double. When you are rich and famous, you can hire a few look-alikes to ride around and confuse the paparazzi. This tactic works well for evil dictators and prisoner exchanges so it should work well to avoid the paparazzi.
3. Stay out of New York or Los Angeles. There are paparazzi all over the world, but if you can avoid going out in the big cities, you can avoid the paparazzi.
4. Refrain from having them beat up. Once you or your body guard assault a member of the paparazzi they are going to be all over you like hot fudge on a sundae. No matter how annoying or inappropriate the paparazzi behave you cannot knock them around.
5. Make your friends carry you around in a bag. If you are concealed in a bag, there will nothing to take a picture of. This is a great way to avoid the paparazzi.
6. Wear a disguise. The paparazzi are renowned for seeing through disguises, but if you can make yourself look different enough, it just might work. Prosthetics and hair dye or wigs can go a long way to avoiding the paparazzi.
7. Set them up. If you can organize a hoax where the paparazzi appear responsible for harming you or someone with you, the paparazzi must back off. It would be even better if you can sue a member of the paparazzi or their employer for millions of dollars. If a magazine or website thinks they may lose money by sending the paparazzi after you, they will no longer offer money for pictures of you and the paparazzi will have no reason to follow you around anymore.