How to Maintain Single Friends when married

According to a Census Bureau report from May 2006, 72 percent of men and women in the United States were married by the ages of 30 to 34 years old. That leaves quite a few single friends. The move to wedded bliss shouldn't sweep unwed friends under the rug. Here are six tips to keeping friendships strong for married couples with single friends.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

1. Determine who's in and who's out. Some people just won't make the cut. This is where you find out what the friendship was ultimately built upon. Many friends will not be able to understand the fact that married friends have new priorities and challenges. Spending more and more time mending emotional wounds of resentment and abandonment with friends is a sign that you need to move on.
2. Bring them all together. So now there are solid friends in place. It's time to introduce both sides to one another. This may have already occurred in some informal way, but make it official. Have a cookout or a "Hit television show of the season" party. It doesn't matter. Just make it a gathering that is not gender specific. This will allow everyone to meet and greet with no expectations at all. It will eliminate the fear of the unknown on both sides.
3. Allow the spouse to go on separate outings with friends. It's about trust. If spouse A hates basketball, but spouse B and spouse A's friend would drool over season tickets, let them have at it. Learn how trust works in real life applications. Couples also learn that lots of things can be done together and some things can happen apart. And, that's ok.
4. Keep married business private. This may fly in the face of conventional wisdom in an age of sharing everything, but keep issues and concerns close to the vest. It's ok to chat about relationship issues from a global perspective, but details muck up the waters for friends after couples have resolved issues. Even when there are ongoing issues that are still being worked through, a committee is not always in order. Of course, professional resources don't fall into this category.
5. Avoid match making. Couples think relationships are beautiful. They are happy, and that's really great. Remember, happiness is not always about a person. Many times, it's the journey that makes one ready for the joy of a loving relationship. Solicited advice is one thing. Unsolicited match making, however, can cause riffs between friends. Sometimes unintended messages are sent about a friend's life choices, as well as their current needs and desires.
6. Acknowledge the single friend's fears about potential changes in the relationship with him or her. Friendships can be solid as a rock, yet delicate and fragile. Sometimes the balance that maintains a friendship is interrupted when major life changes are made. This is where sharing is paramount. Talk about what's going on and what it means to everyone involved. In the end, the best friends are ones who know exactly where they stand in your life.