How to Change a Spouse's Poor Spending Habits

Nothing causes more conflict in a marriage than money. The conflict is especially difficult when you and your spouse have dramatically different spending habits. Overcoming your spouse's poor spending habits is an uphill battle, but it is a battle that can and should be won for the sake of your marriage and your bank account.

Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

1. Talk it out. Communication is key and proper communication is of the utmost importance. Problems will never be resolved if you don't talk about them.
2. Explain your financial concerns to your spouse. Make sure your language expresses concern and a willingness to talk, and not anger and resentment.
3. Take over the finances. Make the responsibility of paying the bills and balancing the checkbook solely yours.
4. Make a running list of how and where money is spent. Keep this list posted on the refrigerator and include the $200 she spent getting her hair done or the $500 he spent on a new amplifier for his car stereo. Think of it as a spending diary. The dollar amounts have more of an impact when they are constantly in view.
5. Offer a compromise. If she simply must go to an expensive restaurant every week, try to talk her into going every other week. If he always spends way too much on card night with his buddies, discuss a dollar limit on how much he can spend (lose) on card night.
6. Keep a running list of what could be done with money that was spent frivolously. Post it next to the spending diary on the refrigerator.
7. Keep the lines of communication open. Money is always going to be an ongoing, negative issue if the two of you don't keep the lines of communication open and honest.

Tips & Warnings

• Admit your faults, too. Admitting when you have done so will avoid making him feel as though he is being attacked.
• Prepare for slip-ups. Spending reform is difficult; she is going to have relapses.
• Leave the guilt out of the conversation. Guilt only leads to resentment and resentment leads to bigger, uglier arguments.
• Avoid using accusatory and inflammatory language. Don't use phrases like "you never" or "you always." No one "never" or "always" does anything.