How to Deal With Bureaucrats

Having to spend the day waiting in line at the DMV or on hold with the IRS is something that most of us would like to avoid at all costs. But, if you know how to deal with bureaucrats, your next trip to your local branch of a government-run office may not be such a nightmare.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. Be prepared to wait. If you must make a phone call to a bureaucrat or go to a government office, make sure that you don't have to return to work or go to an appointment. Have a bite to eat and use the bathroom before making the call or heading to the office. Hunger, the need to use the bathroom or fear of missing an appointment will only elevate your frustration.
2. Maintain a calm and friendly tone when speaking to a bureaucrat. Be patient, because dealing with bureaucrats will often require you to wait on hold, in line or for the bureaucrat to return from lunch. Getting aggravated, being impatient or yelling will only make things worse. Bureaucrats get yelled at all day, so losing your cool will only serve to upset them further and can ruin your chances of getting them to help you.
3. Follow all directions to the letter, even if they seem redundant and silly. If you fill out paperwork incorrectly, go to the wrong window, miss an appointment or dial the wrong telephone extension, you will quickly find yourself at square one. Having to dial the number again or start at the end of the line, only increases the time you will have to spend with a bureaucrat.
4. Reassure the bureaucrat of his authority by telling him that you know he has power. In order to get a bureaucrat to help you, you must boost their ego. Grovel a bit, and let them know they're boss.