How to Survive a Bris

Performed on the eighth day of a baby boy's life, a bris is one of the most significant ceremonies in Judaism. This circumcision ritual also is a big social occasion. But for those who've never been to a bris or are squeamish, it's hard to chat and casually nosh on a bagel when a newborn's foreskin is being removed several yards away. Here's how to survive a Jewish bris.

Instructions

1. Arrive on time with a baby gift in hand. Even if the mother had a baby shower--which is against tradition for Jewish moms to be, but becoming more common--it's nice to bring something small to the bris. Outfits, toys, books, savings bonds, money and gift cards all are good gifts.

2. Congratulate the parents and coo over the baby boy. Try not to overwhelm the mother too much by asking her questions about the upcoming circumcision or whether she is getting sleep or losing the baby weight yet. Remember, she's just given birth eight days ago. Keep the conversation simple--and quick, because if you linger for too long you could get stuck next to the parents during the circumcision.

3. Find out where the circumcision is going to take place. You can figure this out by seeing where the moyel, the religious officant who performs this ceremony, is setting up shop. Often it's done in a chair or on a table in the living room. Sometimes it takes place in the baby's nursery.

4. Take your place as far from the circumcision as you can acceptably wander. If this baby is your nephew, cousin--or of course your son--you will be expected to be very close. But other friends and relations can hang by the perimeters of the room.

5. Be respectful during the ceremony. The moyel will speak in English and in Hebrew, blessing the baby and giving him his Hebrew name. People close to the infant will hold him and say prayers for him--then, the circumcision takes place. You should be quiet during all of this.

6. Congratulate the family once again and enjoy the rest of the party. Guests usually disperse within an hour after the ceremony, so be sure to mingle and enjoy the food before departing.

Tips & Warnings

• Keep your views to yourself if you don't agree with circumcision. This is not the right time or place to protest this ancient ritual.

• If you feel queasy or upset by the circumcision, remain composed. You can look away without covering your eyes, crying or otherwise attracting attention to yourself.