How to Fake Vomit

Throwing up is a great way to get out of just about anything. Whether you're dodging a yucky blind date honing in for a first kiss or want to get out of your physics exam, puking is a surefire plan of escape. It could be difficult, you assume, if you're not actually feeling nauseated. You gag--vomit does not ensue. Here's how to fake it like an Oscar winner.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

1. Figure out whether physical evidence of throw up will be needed to convince people that you threw up. Ideally, you'll be able to run to the bathroom and make theatrical puking sounds, and that should seal the deal. Anyone who is already suspicious of you may want to see vomit come out of your mouth, unfortunately, so you must have fake vomit on hand.
2. Prepare for fake vomiting by looking the part physically. Furtively dust your face with powder to look as if you're queasy. While you're digging through a makeup bag, try a dark lip color and subtle dark shadow around your eye sockets for a washed out, sickly look.
3. Warn your subject that you feel sick to your stomach. If you eat in front of them, take a bite and then say you can't eat anymore. Slump in your seat as if you feel dizzy and weak.
4. At the right moment, excuse yourself somewhere private and make loud gagging noises. The sound you want to imitate is "Ummm-bl-ehhh-ch!" followed by some retching. Moan or sob afterwards and if you're in a bathroom, loudly grab from the roll of toilet paper. Flush and pretend to clean up.
5. Produce fake vomit if physical evidence is needed. A solution of oatmeal and water has the look of vomit, but if the scent of throw up is necessary too, add some curdled milk to the supply. You can also buy fake vomit on the Throw Things website. Keep the fake vomit stored furtively in the collar of your clothing so that you can cover your mouth, reach a bit lower and produce it as you fake retch.