How to Cope With a Jealous Friend
Friends are supposed to support you through good times and bad--but if your friend is jealous, she might be booing when you're happy and cheering when times are rough. Coping with jealous friends isn't easy. Sometimes you can help them get through their insecurities, but other times it's best to cut all ties. Here's how to cope.
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Instructions
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Understand your friend's feelings. Jealous friends envy you because they wish they had what you had. Decide whether your friend is insecure about her love life, looks, income, clothes, intelligence or something else. Think about whether your friend would be more secure if she had what she envies, or if you suspect she'd still find something to be jealous about.
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Call your friend on her jealous behavior. If she rolls her eyes when you order an ice cream sundae because she's always on a diet, tell her point blank that you're going to enjoy your dessert whether she rolls her eyes or not. If she teases you about your new jewelry, tell her you love your brand new diamonds. Be confident rather than apologizing for making her jealous, since her jealousy isn't your fault.
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Help your friend to be more secure. His insecurities should be painfully obvious by his jealous behavior--so build him up so he feels better about himself. Compliment him for what he does have going for him, and help him build an action plan so that he can get what he wants. If he envies your ease with the ladies, help him find more dates.
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Stand up to rude behavior. Just because your friend feels bad about her lack of education doesn't mean she can call you a nerd for wanting to study. Demand an apology and if you don't get one, it might be time to part ways.
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Expect all of your friends to support you through good times and bad. Your friend might be jealous that you're pregnant and she's not, but if she doesn't genuinely congratulate you, she's not a good friend. If your best buddy is happy that you crashed that new sports car he used to envy, he's not good friend material either.
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Tips & Warnings
It might not be jealousy but rudeness that's the true problem. People often excuse rude behavior by saying, "Oh, he's just jealous," but your friend might tell you your new job is stupid because he really thinks it's stupid and has no manners--not because he wishes he got that job himself.
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Emma Rose Sheffer
Feb 13, 2011
I'm a senior in high school and have good grades, got into my college of choice, and have been invited to compete for a full ride scholarship. I am also very active in our school's choir and theatre programs and have received two leading roles in the past two years. I have a lot of friends that I really care about and have recently lost a considerable amount of weight. However, a close friend of mine (we'll call him Friend A), also active in the theatre and choir (who has not received as many roles in past productions), has recently been lashing out at another friend of mine (she'll be Friend B) who has had a similarly wonderful high school experience. In defense of Friend B, I asked Friend A why they couldn't just peacefully coexist. They didn't have to be friends or anything, but just not fight. Friend B had done nothing intentionally horrible to Friend A. I ended up getting yelled... -
heinessgirl234
Aug 21, 2010
I have a friend who is very insecure and who lashes out at me whenever I have a conversation with a guy she is interested in. I feel like i have to walk on egg shells around her but im getting fed up...maybe its time to let this go...I was in an important business meeting the other day and she calls incessantly because she is thinking im sleeping with her male interest AT MY JOB of all places...WTF do i do with her?
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dingobaby
Aug 23, 2009
Why would a friend that tell you how beautiful you are, in a tone that sounds like she is trying to make you believe something that is not true, then finds the worst picture she can of you, post it to her facebook page, tag it and when you ask her to please remove it, she innocently says, 'Oh, I am so sorry, I really thought it was a a good picture of you." What kind of behavior is this? Does she think I am stupid?
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dotes
May 04, 2009
I had to create serious space between me and this person. The most chilling part is that we'd been friends for over 10 years and this other side of her surfaced about 9 months ago. I met a friend of her ex's, and we really hit it off. All of a sudden, she's like 'oh, he's my brother' and 'we are such good friends'. It turned out that she found out he was dating someone else. (which, was fine, we had just started hanging out) The killer part is, before I ever found out, she asks me in 'casual' conversation, if I'd considered dating other people. Which of course made me ask, if he was seeing other people. She said no. She calls me later and is like, yes he is. Of course, I 'm furious that she lied to me. It gets better. She then runs to him crying about how I put her in a bad position because I asked her about him. She failed to mention that she basically goaded me into the...
