How to Have Tantric Sex

Tantric sex dates back more than 6,000 years to a time when it arose in opposition to ascetics who thought that there was no place for sexuality in religion. The object of tantra is spiritual, but you don't have to experience a religious conversion to enjoy the benefits of tantric sex. All you and your partner have to do is open your minds and hearts to awakening your sexuality together.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. Make an effort to experience loving closeness with your partner without the goal of sex in mind. Tantric sex does not have a goal of climax like most Western notions of sex, so begin initiating sexual closeness without having sexual intercourse as your goal.

2. Set aside special time for at least one hour every week to be alone with your partner. Busy lives and schedules can edge closeness and intimacy out of the picture, so make time alone with your partner a priority.

3. Arrange for a special place where you experience time together, and equip that space with romantic and sensual elements. Music, candles, lighting, certain foods, comfortable furniture or anything else that sets the mood can be used in this space.

4. Find out what arouses your partner. Ask how he or she likes to be touched and held, and focus on giving pleasure and helping your partner to expand his or her sexuality.

5. Communicate effectively about what stimulates you. Give verbal or nonverbal feedback about the things your partner does to excite you.

6. Stay absolutely focused on your partner and on your time together if you mind starts to wander.

7. Breathe together, inhaling as your partner exhales. This provides balance and unity.

8. Go slowly. Tantric sex involves trying to maximize the amount of time spent at peak stimulation, so by slowly peaking you can refrain from climaxing for longer.

9. Experiment with a variety of positions to balance out sexual roles.

10. For men, refrain from ejaculating as long as possible. With practice, you can even use muscular control and relaxation to have an orgasm without ejaculation, allowing for multiple orgasms for both you and your partner.

Tips & Warnings

• Allow the focus of sex to be giving and receiving love and exchanging pleasure with your partner. Sex should be a time of closeness in which you enjoy each moment in the present rather than become preoccupied with the climax event. Prolong all aspects of lovemaking rather than moving through sex with a goal-oriented approach.
• Focus on communication and awakening the senses, effectively making your partner aware of your sensuality and sensitivities. Listen carefully and be aware of your partner's feelings.

[intimacyretreat]

on 7/27/2009 Tantric sex is definitely different from the conventional wham-bam-thank-you-m'am approach. It's deliciously fulfilling on many levels and can transform a relationship into a love affair!

Diana Daffner
Author, Tantric Sex for Busy Couples: How to Deepen Your Passion in Just Ten Minutes a Day
http://IntimacyRetreats.com