How to Find a Man

Finding a man can be "easier done" than said! The popularity of Internet dating has captured the interest of millions of hopefuls who find themselves writing personal ad profiles with the hopes of at some point and time meeting a man. Each day these people hide behind a lifeless computer screen, tap tap tapping away at a keyboard without any inhibitions or fear of what others will think about them because they are never seen or heard. Internet dating can be right for the right person, but what if you are not Internet dater? You don't have to wait for a man to send you an email, when you can go out and get a man today! There is an abundance of men who are all to happy to meet someone just like you. So, click your mouse, close your windows, sign off your computer and say to yourself, "There are other places I can meet a man, there are other places I can meet a man......"

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

Things You’ll Need:

• Determination
• A sexy outfit
• A flirtatious spirit
• "Maledar" detection

1. You don't have to change you your entire life, your looks and your car to get a man. You can even keep the dog and take it with you on your "man hunt." You don't have to wear a sign on your chest that reads, " I NEED A MAN!" Finding a man is possible with these helpful tips;
   
   After work, make sure you take the opportunity to stop off at the market (go on a Friday) Single men do not shop the first of the week. They shop on Friday's in preparation for a weekend filled with ball games, sports, man camaraderie and washing their car.
   
   Prior to entering the market, make sure to freshen you lipstick, fluff up your hair, spray some extra perfume on and wear that cute little number that you would never dare wear to work to shop. Stroll through the aisles and keep a look out for your "target man." He might be on the freezer aisle but chances are he will be on either the wine and beer aisle or in the chip section. Once you spot your target, slowly move in for the take. Make eye contact first. Smile at him. Pretend to be shopping too. Note: Keep the anti itch cream out of sight under the celery. If you have a fear of speaking first, try reaching for an item on the very top shelf, allowing him to see your valiant attempt, with the hope that he will offer to help. If he keeps on walking, then move on to the fresh produce section. Men love melons!
2. Next to Nascar and seasonal sports, men love their pets. If you don't have a dog, get one. There are many pet parks and walking trails that you can check out, plus your pet will love the company. Should you spot your man among the many bow wows running about, you should then allow your pet to escape. No better way to meet a man, than for him to see a damsel in distress. He should immediately come to your aide and rescue little foo foo. Award your man for such a brave heroic act and offer to repay him by cooking him a nice dinner or taking him out for one. Tell him this "treat" is on you!
3. Take up a sport. Try golfing. If golf is not your forte, think twice about it. Have you ever seen a golf course on a Saturday? It is full of men. Take your pick. Afraid to play? Not to worry. It might be to your advantage to take a few lessons. Shy? Take a girlfriend. After all, the instructors are often men! Once you learn to play, it's 18 holes of testosterone everywhere you look! A man would much rather have you accompany him for 9 holes of golf than a buddy who can't even make a hole in one on a putt putt course! Golf is a great game and the outdoors is always great for your complexion. Note: While hunting for a man at a golf course, there are rules of etiquette. However, every "man hunter" knows if you are going to play golf, you will need to invest in one of those short little golf outfits that accentuate your figure. Before long, you will have more balls for golfing than you know what to do with!
4. Sign up for a class at a local college or community organization. Do not take knitting. You do want to find a man don't you? Sign up for an auto shop class, a course in finance or a rock climbing class. Remember, men love numbers, the outdoors, sports, a good drink and a great woman to share it all with him!
5. Need a new car? Whether you do or not, go car shopping. You might have great luck finding a man there. Most salesmen are men and would love to show you their ride! Test drive the heck out of those cars. Choosing a car is like choosing a man. You want to see first what you like, look up under the hood, take it for a spin and then decide if you want to keep it!
6. If you are feeling a bit studious, head over to your local book store and look in the sections that you think would appeal to a man. You won't find him in the craft section looking up the book, How to Make Dried Flowers." However, if you like a man with an effeminate quality, then this type of individual might be for you. He could come in hand during the holiday's. If you want to know more about your man before you meet him, watch what he shops for in the book store. If he is reading finance, he is a money man. If he is reading mystery, he likes the unknown. If he is reading about UFO'S, he is out there and if he is reading Karma Sutra, move in for the "kill."!
7. There are hundreds of excellent places to find a man. At the end of the day, stop off at your local coffee shop. Relax. Take a look around. Admire the scenery. Sip on your favorite brew, smile at the man across the way and order a decadent delight, for tomorrow is another day.

Tips & Warnings

• Always remember to carry your business card with you. It can come in handy when you need to whisk out a phone number for a man.
• Make an effort to learn what men like and before you know it, you will have a man showing you how to "birdie" in no time which will surely be "par" for your course!
• Don't go out looking for a man in your scrubby jeans. Look hot! Dress for "man" success and look your best!
• Do not take your mother along with you when shopping for a man. She will be a distraction when she is on the aisle buying feminine products.
• Never shop for a man who has no teeth. Kissing is difficult.
• Do not give a man the time of day if he thinks Starbucks is a 6 point deer!
• If you take a friend along on your hunt for a man, make sure she is of a "simple" nature. If she looks like a "Bay Watch babe," you decrease your chances of getting the man you want. You do not want competition.
• Do not break the law to find a man. If you should find yourself stopped by the police, be sure to cry. Pout those red lips and tell him that you were on your way to a fund raiser for orphaned little chijuajuas in Mexico. He will appreciate your honesty.
• Last but not least; Don't forget to give thanks to all those women on Internet dating web sites. They have made your life a lot easier by being one less woman not out there stealing your man!