How to Become Infamous

If your dream is to become infamous, it's not as easy as you might think. Maintaining a bad reputation can be exhausting, unless of course you're dedicated. Here's how to be the bad boy or girl you've always dreamed of becoming.

Instructions

1. Decide how infamous you'd like to become. How amoral would you like to be? How much negative press would you like to attract? Do you plan to hold down a steady job, or would you rather make becoming infamous a career goal as well. Know what you're aiming for before you get in too deep.

2. Start small. Begin ruining your reputation with your family and friends. Avoid doing the right thing, even if it seems like a good idea at the time. Try to do at least one thing everyday that would cause a scene. Get creative.

3. Alienate yourself from the aforementioned people and surround yourself with other infamous people and an entourage of lackeys for further negative reinforcement. Take "acting out" to a new level but avoid incarceration. Though a short stint in prison can improve an infamous reputation, hard time keeps you out of the limelight, which is where you need to be to become truly infamous.

4. Choose infamous role models and emulate their style while you develop your own. Steal their ideas and take credit for them whenever possible.

5. Go for it. There are no small dreams, only small people. Take what you've learned and expand your horizons. Move to a major urban center and develop a reputation there as well. It may be challenging at first to suddenly find yourself as a small fish in a much bigger pond, but it will definitely build infamous character.

6. Find a way to ingratiate yourself to infamous high rollers and then learn all that you can from them. This way, you'll make it into the tabloids and be "seen," which gives you time to build your reputation. Use this time to prepare for a hostile takeover of your mentor's turf when you've become infamous enough to outdo them.

7. Be professional. Success never happens overnight, and becoming infamous requires dedication and hard work just like any other pursuit in life. Stick to it and follow your infamous moral guidelines. Being infamous doesn't mean being a villain. You still want people to like you, it's just a matter of making the "wrong" people like you and the good people hate you (they're just jealous, by the way).