How to Trust a Spouse After Infidelity

When a spouse is unfaithful, it can often mean the end of a marriage. However, some wish to salvage their marriage and try to get on with their lives. If you are in this situation, your marriage does not have to end in divorce; there are methods that you can use to try and trust your spouse once again.

Instructions

1. Talk with your spouse about the infidelity. Make sure that you both say everything that you need to and that all questions are answered. The more you talk about the incident and find out what your spouse is/was feeling, the easier it will be to reestablish trust. Communication is something that needs to be worked into all aspects of your life together, as it will be easier to work your problems out and talk about the feelings that both of you are having in the future. A problem that is silenced can lead to the breakdown of a relationship and encourage a spouse to seek comfort elsewhere.

2. See a marriage counselor if you cannot talk at length about the infidelity without getting into a fight or if you are having trouble talking about it between the two of you. Seeing a counselor may be a good idea, regardless of how well you and your spouse believe that you are handling the situation. A counselor is experienced and has special techniques that she can use to help you reestablish trust within the relationship.

3. Write an agreement or contract, confirming your commitment to stay faithful to one another. Both of you should sign it as an indication that you are committed to your relationship and to each other. Although a contract won't necessarily prevent this from happening in the future, it is a way for both of you to reaffirm your love and commitment to the relationship. If you know that your spouse is dedicated and committed to your marriage, it will help you trust him/her.

4. Do things together, to reaffirm your dedication to making the relationship last. This could involve going out on more dates, taking a vacation or just spending more time together at home. Spending time together can help rekindle and strengthen the bond between you. When your relationship is strong, your spouse is unlikely to stray and it will be easier for you to trust them again.