How to Survive the First Year of Marriage

By eHow Weddings Editor

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Aaah, marriage. That endless battle ground of experience and frustration. The first year of which can often seem like an uphill struggle full of resentment, dissatisfaction and displacement. Yet marriage does not have to be that way. A few simple steps can ensure sanity as that long first year of really getting to know each other begins. Having made the commitment, it's time to realize that the work has only just begun. Here are a few easy marriage survival techniques.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

Step1
Never stop talking. You will always recall how much you talked when you were dating. Make it a constant and not just a memory.
Step2
Listen to each other. You are in a partnership and both partners should be fully aware of the other partner's thoughts and feelings. Now that you are married, you need the input of your partner in order to make decisions that affect you both, which is now, every decision that you make.
Step3
Realize you did not get married just to get presents, pay bills, advance your career or make babies. Love had a lot to do with the situation that you are in now, so do not put it on the back burner. Practicality must be tempered with care.
Step4
Respect each other. Just like parents and siblings, it is easy to take advantage of your spouse and not appreciate their part in your life together. Always give your spouse consideration and defend them when they are not around.
Step5
Show that you are in it for the long haul. Young marriages can be full of empty threats of divorce and abandonment. This develops from frustration, not a lack of love, so do not stop communicating your commitment.
Step6
Recall that your lives are equally important. Before you married, you had social networks and participated in activities that you enjoyed. Allow each other the time to enjoy friends and pastimes as they provide a great release to marital tension.
Step7
Laugh together always. The most important step: there is so much humor in everyday life and you are married, not dead. Learn to laugh off the little things ("No honey, the dishwasher is not a figment of your imagination" or "Did I ever give any indication that I was a professional plumber?") and learn to pick your battles.

Tips & Warnings

  • Don't forget to rely on each other, as the small household tasks you must communicate about ("I got your favorite," "your clothes are dry" and "dinner's on the table") are always good ways to break the ice after an argument.
  • You won't lose face by apologizing. Saying sorry is a quick way to relieve tension. But remember to know what you are apologizing for or the argument will just start all over again.
  • Think one good thought about your spouse everyday. This will provide you with a checklist of reasons not to murder your spouse when that thought first arises.
  • Complaining about your spouse to family is never a good idea. Rely on each other to figure things out because it's about you and your partner, not everybody else.
  • Enjoy the journey. Marriage can be an uphill battle or a long and enjoyable road of self-discovery. You are committed to a permanent learning experience and hard work and understanding will get you though it.

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on 4/22/2008 This is a great article. Another thing that helps me is to remember that he is human, and he is allowed to have faults - I have faults, too. Nobody is perfect.

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eHow Article:  How to Survive the First Year of Marriage

eHow Weddings Editor

eHow Weddings Editor

Category: Weddings

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