How to Reset a Vintage Engagement Ring

You'll learn how to reset a vintage engagement ring without hurting the feelings of the person who wants to pass it down to you.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

Things You’ll Need:

• Time to read directons
• Money to buy a ring
• A bride or be a bride-to-be

1. Be Mindful of People’s Feelings
   
   When you receive an heirloom stone and do not like it, you can find yourself in uncomfortable territory. What to do?! The offer of such a generous gift is a sign of family acceptance and trust, and it saves you, as a couple, a good deal of money that could be spent elsewhere. However, you may have an idea of what you want already and this generous gift does not fit in with your preconceived ideas. You can either accept the heirloom ring and forego your original plans or make the stone yours by resetting it in a way you love.
2. Be Cautious and Polite
   
   Before you head down to the jewelry store to change the look of your gift, be sure to talk with the person who gave you the ring. You can find many of ways to let them know the current setting does not work for you without hurting their feelings.
   Some people give a gift with no strings attached. Others feel a bit sentimental and want to see their gift (especially heirloom gifts) kept in the exact manner it was offered. This means some may have their feelings hurt if you alter the look of the ring. You can navigate this tricky situation by keeping in the mind the ideas in step 3.
3. Keep the Peace in Your Family
   
   When you talk with the person who gave you the ring about your wishes, you show them respect and an interest in their feelings. Be clear about how grateful you are and then add in one of the following to soften the news.
   • You're concerned about wearing the ring in your day-to-day setting such as crossing guard, adventure tour guide, teacher, etc.
   • The setting needs repair but and to fix that setting would cost more than a new setting. This could be tricky – what if they offer to pay?
   • The ring is not the proper size for your hand – too big or small for your finger length or hand size.
   • The ring won’t match the wedding bands you’ve already chosen.
4. If the tactics above do not work, then you’ll have to decide what to do. Keep the ring and wear it around the family member who gave it to you? Get a different, new ring? Hopefully, the above will work, and you’ll be on your way to having one of the many tricky parts of wedding planning completed.

Tips & Warnings

• Budget for the vintage engagement ring setting you want.
• Work together as a couple to find a ring the bride likes.
• Do not spend more than you can afford.
• Express your gratitude to the relative giving you the vintage engagement ring.