How to Communicate for Better Intimacy

You and your partner may have different ideas about intimacy and not even know it. Communication is essential to building a lasting, satisfying relationship. But communication isn't about complaining. It's about defining values and needs and then coming up with way to nurture each other. Follow these steps to communicate better.

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

1. Figure out what intimacy really means to you and share it with your partner. Men tend to think it refers only to better sex while women look at a much broader context, taking emotions, physical contact and conversation into consideration.
2. Tell your partner what your beliefs are about intimacy. Let her know that you don't like sex toys if she wants to try them. Communicate your need for romance if he's not satisfying it.
3. Show patience in every form of intimacy. Listen to her talk about her day and empathize with her frustrations. Let him discuss political and social issues that touch him deeply.
4. Keep an open mind. Promise her you won't judge or ridicule her needs. Let him tell you about his sexual fantasies even if they conflict with your values. See the situation from your partner's point of view.
5. Respect your partner's point of view. His needs and desires may seem abnormal if they come as a surprise to you. It was probably hard for him to tell you about them, so make sure he knows you understand how he's feeling.
6. Prepare for compromise. While you don't want to go against your values, you need to question your assumptions. You just might enjoy changing your level of intimacy after the initial discomfort wears off.

Tips & Warnings

• Stay aware at all times of manipulation. Use communication to better meet each other's needs, not take control.
• Don't make assumptions about why your partner prefers one thing over another.