How to Spot a Bully

Tom Cruise, Michelle Pfieffer, Mel Gibson and Whitney Houston all report having been the victims of bullies in school. You cannot always control whether you will be a target. The goal of a bully is to hurt its victim in order to gain power. The first step in stopping a bully is to spot one.

Instructions

1. Check your feelings. A bully is someone who tries to make you feel bad often. You may feel outnumbered, helpless, alone, sad or uncomfortable around this person.

2. Watch out for kicking, hitting, pushing, tripping or any other type of physical abuse. Physical bullying is easy to spot. It needs to be reported whether you are the victim or a bystander.

3. Listen to what is being said about you or others. A relational bully will spread rumors or tell others to stay away from a victim in order to exclude them.

4. Identify a verbal bully by what he or she says to you or to others. A verbal bully will use name-calling, teasing, insults or hate mail to hurt a victim.

5. Make sure you are not a bully. Do you feel powerful when someone else feels bad, use your size or strength to gain control over someone else or avoid feelings of those you may have hurt. If so, seek help dealing with your feelings.

6. Look for these personality traits when you think you may know a bully: Aggressive behavior, a need to dominate peers, no remorse and no responsibility taken for actions.

Tips & Warnings

• Roughhousing and name calling in a joking manner is only bullying if the person intends to hurt the person in the relationship.

• Report any bullying that you spot. People who feel they can't get away from a bully sometimes see suicide as the only escape.