How to Deal With Back Talk From Children

At some point, every child will back talk. The key to dealing with back talk is to have self-restraint, patience and understanding. Back talk is often just an assertion of independence from children, which is a normal stage of development. But it must be dealt with effectively, because it will spiral out of control if not stopped.

Difficulty:

Easy

Instructions

1. Let the child know what the expectations are. Sit the child down and let him know that back talk will no longer be tolerated. Explain what the punishments are for disobeying, and follow through. Be very specific on what is not going to be tolerated.

2. Ignore mumblings. Sometimes children complain. It's their way of saying they'll do it, but only because they have to, not because they want to. This is fine. A response isn't necessary, or even expected by the child.

3. Calm down. If the child back talks in a very disrespectful way, leave the room and the conversation. If the child trails behind, let him know that back talk will not be tolerated, and ignore the child. After calming down, then decide on the punishment for the offense.

4. Treat first offenses like teaching opportunities. Firmly inform the child that the behavior is unacceptable. Then continue the discussion, never revisiting the issue that started the back talk in the first place. Assume the child will obey.

5. Tell the child what you need to tell him, then leave. This will help the child appreciate that the parent has the last word.

6. Offer the child choices. Children are less likely to argue if they feel they have a choice. Even if neither option is really attractive to them, they feel more empowered to be able to choose.