How to Tell a Spouse About Alanon

Alcoholics leave deep swaths of destruction in their paths when their disease runs out of control. The treatment centers and anonymous 12-step programs are everywhere for alcoholics. Help for those married to alcoholics is not as ubiquitous. Alanon is a program for those friends and family members. They have problems of their own and can find help from others in similar situations at Alanon. Read on to learn more.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. Ask a member of Alanon to call on your spouse. Just as a spouse is the last person who can help an alcoholic, so a partner is least effective in helping a codependent spouse.
2. Refer your spouse to alanon.org. This website offers information about the program and meeting locations all over the world.
3. Bring home literature and leave it where your spouse might pick it up and read it. Information pamphlets are available at meetings and from the Alanon World Service Office in Virginia Beach by using the same website.
4. Send your spouse a link to online Alanon meetings and chat rooms at ola-is.org. Often a person who is reticent about talking to strangers in public can be more open and truly anonymous online. They may begin to feel more comfortable and willing to attend meeting after this exposure.

Tips & Warnings

• Do not preach about how great you are doing in recovery and how you wish your spouse would join you.
• Do not pick out who your spouse may talk to in Alanon or what meetings he or she should attend.
• Do not give your spouse the third degree when they return from a meeting or go online.