How to Date a Gangster

Despite the stigma that surrounds the gangster's lifestyle, he can be a sensitive and loyal person. Although a gangster gets up to unspeakable mischief while in the company of his gang, at day's end, once he has exhausted those desires, he's ready to give himself to you in all his sensual sweetness. Exercise caution if you wish to delve in the sometimes seedy, sometimes sunny world of gangster dating. Read on to learn more.

Instructions

1. Prepare to socialize with his gang. Gangsters, by definition, are collectively oriented. You might find yourself referred to as "Donnie's girl" rather than by your birth name. Don't be insulted, for, in the gangster world, this is a gesture of collective belonging and trust.

2. Understand his privacy. While disclosure is a crucial part of any relationship, the gangster holds his privacy sacred. He conceals certain activities because he prefers that you remain irreproachable. Think of it as an act of love.

3. Respect him while in the company of his gangster friends. In private, you may remind him to pick up his dirty socks or do the dishes, but don't call him "Pumpkin" in front of his friends. This deeply embarrasses him. If he prefers that you call him "Vinnie the Knife" in public, think of it as his gangster pet name.

4. Compete with the gang for his attention. Gangsters usually fall into a group dynamic because of a desire for human love--however crude its expression. Show him that your love for him is unrivaled and that there is another, more stable world in which you can be accomplice. If he truly loves you, he might reevaluate his gangster ways.