How to Date a Zombie

Despite the fact that all of your friends told you not to date a zombie because you'd only get hurt, you got yourself involved with a zombie anyway. For a longterm relationship to work, you'll have to become a zombie. However, becoming a zombie is a big step. If you're not ready to make that leap into the next life, just use these tips to have a brief fling.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

1. Have an early dinner. A hungry zombie is just no fun to be around. Make sure that the two of you go to dinner early on the date, then you can relax and have a good time for the rest of the night.

2. Start intellectual conversations. Zombies love to pick your brain about all sorts of things. Satisfy that craving for brainy companionship by offering up some tasty topics for discussion. Don't be surprised if your zombie devours your stimulating mind.

3. Use caution in large crowds. While they enjoy being around large groups of people, zombies can be a bit careless and may accidentally pull someone's arm off when they get excited. If that happens, gracefully offer apologies and lead your zombie away from the fray.

4. Be gentle, but firm. Make your zombie understand that no means no. If you're not in the mood to be eaten, let your zombie know that the time just isn't right. Use deadly force if necessary.

5. Stop for a late night bite to eat. That early dinner may be about gone after a long night out. Avoid going home with a hungry zombie by making a fast food pit stop that's sure to satisfy his hunger for meat.

[bwood]

on 7/30/2009 I think my previous Girlfriend was a Zombie. She fit all the signs. Humorous article, 5*

[digaaz]

on 1/29/2009 I have tried to date a zombie... They only wanted me for my brains. One track mind.... I tell you they're just in it for the brains. Once they got those, they don't want/need you anymore.

[how-to-girl]

on 9/13/2008 Great article, very humorous!