How to Deal With an Angry Child

Everyone experiences anger, but adults are expected to know how to express their anger appropriately. Often, parents pass those expectations on to their children, who are ill-equipped to cope with the emotions building up inside. Parents need to know that this is a critical learning phase for their children, and should know how to effectively deal with an angry child.

Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

1. Model how to deal with anger. It's been said before but can't be repeated often enough: be a good example to your children. They learn the most by your actions, not by your words. This doesn't mean that you should hold your feelings inside; rather, teach your child how to react to upsetting situations by showing her that you, not your anger, are in control of your behavior.
2. Learn to anticipate outbursts. You know your child best. After a few angry tantrums, you can figure out what sets him off and avoid these situations. If you're out and you feel his emotions shifting, take the initiative by removing him from the situation calmly before it erupts, thereby redirecting his attention.
3. Use dialogue to your advantage. This is a fantastic way to teach your child to talk about her feelings instead of acting on them each time she gets angry. Use the situation as a learning tool and ask her what she feels ignited her anger. By assisting her in identifying the cause rather than reacting badly to an already bad situation, you help her understand her feelings better.
4. Respond to his anger only when necessary. This goes under the old parenting adage, "Choose your battles." If you're constantly reacting to every emotion that comes from your child, you're showing him how to overreact to even the smallest infractions. Letting go of the little things may become a lesson to him all on his own, and take charge of the big things that he can't handle.
5. Ensure that your child is getting enough exercise. Exercise is the way to burn off excess energy and gives children an outlet to relieve their stress. When they're babies, they cry to relieve stress. As children get older, parents need to make sure that they have enough opportunities to get out and run around.
6. Show affection even when you don't feel like it. Hugging an angry child isn't on the top of anyone's to-do list, especially when her anger is setting off a bit of your own. Try to get past this and give a spontaneous hug and kiss and watch your child stop screaming and look at you in wonder. She'll soon forget what she's so angry about when her mommy or daddy is lavishing her with love and attention.
7. Celebrate the good behavior. If you're regularly dealing with an angry child, one of the most proactive ways to teach him to react appropriately is to praise all the good things he does. If he attempts to make his bed or clean his room, tell him how much you appreciate his help. If he shares his toys with his friend or sibling, express how happy it makes you feel to see him being so nice. A little bit of extra praise goes a long way.

Tips & Warnings

• Use a joke or riddle to redirect your child's attention and prevent a tantrum. Making her laugh will immediately ease her tension.
• Don't be afraid to say no to your child. Just because you fear an outburst doesn't mean that he can get away with any behavior that suits him. He needs to know there are boundaries and that he needs to live within them.