How to Deal With Judgmental Friends
Your friends think you should drive a better car. Or find a cuter boyfriend. Or spend more money on your clothes. Whatever it is that your friends say you are doing wrong, it's hard to deal with their judgmental attitudes. This is the right time to ask yourself whether they have your best interests at heart--or if they're just bad friends.
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Instructions
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Think about your relationship with these friends. You might be a forgiving person who never holds a grudge, but try to remember if they have ever hurt you before. Gossiping about you behind your back, saying cruel things to you or tricking you are all very good reasons to take their advice with a grain of salt.
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Analyze what it is about yourself that they want you to change. If they are judging you for your less than stylish appearance, pinpoint whether they really want you to feel better about yourself, or if they are afraid to be seen with you. There's a big difference between wanting you to express your inner beauty and wanting you to look like you belong in the "in crowd."
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Ask other, trusted, nonjudgmental friends and family members if they agree with your friends' advice. If they know your friends, don't reveal who said what so you can get an objective reaction. If the answer is, "That's ridiculous," you might want to reconsider your friendship.
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Think about whether your friends are judging you for a health or safety concern. If they won't stop harping on your refusal to wear a seatbelt when you drive, or they question your loyalty to an abusive boyfriend, they aren't being judgmental. They're acting concerned.
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Make changes if following their advice does make you happier, healthier or safer. If you change only to appease them, you'll probably betray your best interests.
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Tell your friends, "Thanks for the advice, but I'm sticking to my plan," if you decide to disregard their opinions. Then walk away with your head held high, prepared to be perfectly happy whether they remain friends or dump you over a petty disagreement.
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