-
Step 1
Realize that you have no power over anyone else's actions. Understand that while you feel you can help a person stay sober, she is only going to stay sober for as long as she wants. This can be a difficult concept to grasp, especially when someone you love is harming herself or others.
-
Step 2
Make a conscience decision to live your own life. Realize that you are only in control of your actions.
-
Step 3
Cut out enabling behaviors. If you have been supplying the alcoholic with alcohol, money or a ride to the liquor store simply to pacify her, stop right now.
-
Step 4
Remind the alcoholic that you love her, but you cannot tolerate her drinking. Make it clear that if she drinks, you will remove yourself from her life. If you make this commitment, stick to it. Making mpty threats is enabling behavior.
-
Step 5
Support the alcoholic when she asks for help. The alcoholic must first want to get help and stay sober. She may ask you for support during the recovery time. Support her within your comfort limits. Refrain from acting in a way that gives the impression that you are trying to fix her.
-
Step 6
Attend local Al-Anon meetings. These meetings are for the families and friends of addicts. Surround yourself with people who remind you that you are in control of your life and no one else's. Al-Anon meetings will provide you with a support system composed of people who are attempting to stop their own enabling behavior.
Comments
annaiam said
on 2/20/2009 Good article! I wrote one simular to this, only it's different and how to live a healthy life with an alcoholic. Thanks for the article, great information!