How to Comfort an Infertile Couple

Most couples want to have children. When they discover they have infertility problems, the couple often experiences an array of emotions. Helping an infertile couple cope with this situation is a delicate affair. Any close friend or family member can help by offering patience and support.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. Recognize common emotions or experiences in your infertile friend. During testing for infertility, many feel uncomfortable, guilty, fearful, angry, shameful, out-of-control and numb. Some tend to disassociate themselves from family and friends as a result of their difficulties and emotions.
2. Learn about infertility causes, treatments and how to cope in order to be knowledgeable and support for your friends. Knowing what your friend has to deal with helps you be more empathetic.
3. Encourage your friend to talk to you about his feelings. Also be sure to encourage him to keep the communication lines open with his partner.
4. Allow your friend to unload her fears and other emotions regularly, and help her to cut down on stress by encouraging her to do activities she likes. Take your friend to dinner, movie or spa, or give her a gift certificate to a restaurant to enjoy a stress-free dinner with her partner.
5. Offer your friend contact information to infertility counselors or support groups trained to listen to infertility suffers. Fertilitylifelines has individuals available to help couples cope (see Resources below). Offer this information as additional help and not as replacement for your support.

Tips & Warnings

• Approach the situation and any conversations with love and support; don't be judgmental or contribute to their feelings of guilt and shame.
• Some couples are angry with others who are pregnant or have children, so be prepared for this possible reaction to your offer of support.
• You don't want to replace the communication they have with their partner, but be an additional means to cope with the infertility problems.