How to Befriend a Mother-in-Law

It's the relationship that has launched a thousand jokes: the mother-in-law relationship. From silly to horrifying, everyone has a mother-in-law tale to tell. But think of how much easier life would be if you actually got along with your spouse's mother. As amazing as this sounds, many have done it. And some even call their mother-in-law a friend. Follow these steps to befriend your mother-in-law.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. Spend time with your mother-in-law without the spouse hanging around. Go out to lunch or go shopping together. It's important to build your own relationship with her before you can become friends.

2. Share mutual interests with this very important relative. Find something that interests you both besides her child that you married. Perhaps you both enjoy the same television show, books or sports.

3. Overlook the little things. Really look at what annoys you about your mother-in-law. So what if she doesn't like the way you do housework. Ask yourself whether you really want to go to war over housework. If it's not something that directly affects you and your spouse, let it go. It's not worth feeling peeved about.

4. Try some diplomatic honesty. One of the more annoying habits of in-laws is giving unsolicited advice about how to raise your child. Constant butting in undermines your effort as a parent and must be stopped. Start with a response like "That's a good idea," and change the subject. If this does no good, let her know that while you appreciate her advice, you want to tackle parenthood on your own and that you'll let her know when you need advice.

5. Ask her advice occasionally. Friends ask for opinions and help all the time. It doesn't have to be about childrearing; it might be about visiting a place where you've never been, but she has. Ask how to bake or cook a family favorite. Let her know you value her experience and contributions.

6. Understand that the bond between a mother and a child is a strong one. She might act up because she misses her child/your spouse. Encourage your significant other to call or spend time occasionally with his or her mother without you.

7. Make a joke when your mother-in-law says or does something that you find particularly hurtful. Hurt feelings often lead to anger. Responding to her in the same way causes tempers to flare even more. Laughing about it throws her for a loop. And with luck, she'll be speechless.