How to Win an Argument

We get into arguments everyday--with relatives, friends, classmates, coworkers and sometimes even with strangers. Although winning every argument is highly unlikely, you can up your odds of not losing by employing these simple tactics.

Things You'll Need

• Facts, data or reference material
• Some background research
• Keen powers of observation
• Presence of mind
• An open mind for solutions

Instructions

Do Your Homework

1. Be realistic. There is always that chance, however remote, that your idea, proposal or concept will not be accepted and an argument will ensue.

2. Be prepared. On that slim chance that you will meet disapproval, dispute or opposition, be ready with your rebuttals.

3. Gather facts, quotes, credible references, standards, universal principles and other hard data that will make you confident enough to face a challenge and convincing enough to win it.

Study Your Opponent

1. Know the person you are dealing with. What is he known to do when faced with your type of argument? Is he the shock-and-awe kind of person who uses intimidation and scare tactics? What are his peeves and favorites? What is he inclined to protect--his image, job, family, reputation?

2. Tweak your argument to address your opponent's strengths and weaknesses.

3. Focus on your opponent--his emotions and his concerns.

Stay Calm

1. Let your opponent speak his mind so that you can listen to his argument and address the issues appropriately.

2. Make your rebuttals clear and in context with your opponent's issues, otherwise the argument will be futile.

3. Never become distressed, unreasonable or off-tangent because this can only lead to non-resolution, which is a total waste of time.

4. Be firm and stress your points with full conviction, but never scream or resort to cursing, name-calling or breaking things.

5. Never become highly emotional, angry or aggressive because your opponent will recognize these as signs of weakness, and will therefore come down on you for the win.

6. Stay in control, think clearly, and argue with dignity.

Agree to a Win-Win

1. Consider a middle ground where your opponent's and your issues are equally addressed.

2. Knock down your opponent's arguments by replacing them with solutions.

3. Negotiate for a compromise where you agree on small wins for both of you, rather than a major win for just one.

Tips & Warnings

• Most arguments are quickly resolved when hard data is laid on the table.

• When formulating a winning strategy, remember to attack the issue at hand, never the person.

• When your opponent becomes aggressive and hysterical, remain calm. Remember that the person who first throws a fit loses the argument.

• Remember that facts that only serve to provoke or antagonize the other person seldom work to your advantage.

Resources

• Steve Pavlina: Personal Development for Smart People
• ForeverGeek.com: 38 Ways to Win an Argument