Things You'll Need:
- An open mind for solutions
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Step 1
Be realistic. There is always that chance, however remote, that your idea, proposal or concept will not be accepted and an argument will ensue.
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Step 2
Be prepared. On that slim chance that you will meet disapproval, dispute or opposition, be ready with your rebuttals.
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Step 3
Gather facts, quotes, credible references, standards, universal principles and other hard data that will make you confident enough to face a challenge and convincing enough to win it.
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Step 1
Know the person you are dealing with. What is he known to do when faced with your type of argument? Is he the shock-and-awe kind of person who uses intimidation and scare tactics? What are his peeves and favorites? What is he inclined to protect--his image, job, family, reputation?
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Step 2
Tweak your argument to address your opponent's strengths and weaknesses.
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Step 3
Focus on your opponent--his emotions and his concerns.
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Step 1
Let your opponent speak his mind so that you can listen to his argument and address the issues appropriately.
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Step 2
Make your rebuttals clear and in context with your opponent's issues, otherwise the argument will be futile.
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Step 3
Never become distressed, unreasonable or off-tangent because this can only lead to non-resolution, which is a total waste of time.
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Step 4
Be firm and stress your points with full conviction, but never scream or resort to cursing, name-calling or breaking things.
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Step 5
Never become highly emotional, angry or aggressive because your opponent will recognize these as signs of weakness, and will therefore come down on you for the win.
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Step 6
Stay in control, think clearly, and argue with dignity.
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Step 1
Consider a middle ground where your opponent's and your issues are equally addressed.
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Step 2
Knock down your opponent's arguments by replacing them with solutions.
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Step 3
Negotiate for a compromise where you agree on small wins for both of you, rather than a major win for just one.
Comments
blescarmona said
on 11/4/2007 Thank you for such an insightful article, Ruby! I have found that I am already using some of the principles you wrote about here. Nice to know that my moves have the stamp of authority!
salele said
on 8/31/2007 I completely agree with your points. I recently got into an argument where i employed some of your strategies especially the middle ground strategy. The argument was long and looking to become nasty so i had to change course by employing the middle ground strategy. The argument finally ended with both of us feeling good.