How to Win an Argument

Contributor

By Ruby Bayan
eHow Contributing Writer

Article Rating: (9 Ratings)

We get into arguments everyday--with relatives, friends, classmates, coworkers and sometimes even with strangers. Although winning every argument is highly unlikely, you can up your odds of not losing by employing these simple tactics.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

An open mind for solutions

Do Your Homework

Step 1

Be realistic. There is always that chance, however remote, that your idea, proposal or concept will not be accepted and an argument will ensue.
Step 2

Be prepared. On that slim chance that you will meet disapproval, dispute or opposition, be ready with your rebuttals.
Step 3

Gather facts, quotes, credible references, standards, universal principles and other hard data that will make you confident enough to face a challenge and convincing enough to win it.

Study Your Opponent

Step 1

Know the person you are dealing with. What is he known to do when faced with your type of argument? Is he the shock-and-awe kind of person who uses intimidation and scare tactics? What are his peeves and favorites? What is he inclined to protect--his image, job, family, reputation?
Step 2

Tweak your argument to address your opponent's strengths and weaknesses.
Step 3

Focus on your opponent--his emotions and his concerns.

Stay Calm

Step 1

Let your opponent speak his mind so that you can listen to his argument and address the issues appropriately.
Step 2

Make your rebuttals clear and in context with your opponent's issues, otherwise the argument will be futile.
Step 3

Never become distressed, unreasonable or off-tangent because this can only lead to non-resolution, which is a total waste of time.
Step 4

Be firm and stress your points with full conviction, but never scream or resort to cursing, name-calling or breaking things.
Step 5

Never become highly emotional, angry or aggressive because your opponent will recognize these as signs of weakness, and will therefore come down on you for the win.
Step 6

Stay in control, think clearly, and argue with dignity.

Agree to a Win-Win

Step 1

Consider a middle ground where your opponent's and your issues are equally addressed.
Step 2

Knock down your opponent's arguments by replacing them with solutions.
Step 3

Negotiate for a compromise where you agree on small wins for both of you, rather than a major win for just one.

Comments

blescarmona said

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on 11/4/2007 Thank you for such an insightful article, Ruby! I have found that I am already using some of the principles you wrote about here. Nice to know that my moves have the stamp of authority!

salele said

on 8/31/2007 I completely agree with your points. I recently got into an argument where i employed some of your strategies especially the middle ground strategy. The argument was long and looking to become nasty so i had to change course by employing the middle ground strategy. The argument finally ended with both of us feeling good.