How to Harvest Duck Feathers for Pillows

Duck feather pillows make for some of the best sleep you can get. The question is: How do you obtain duck feathers? In this article, we'll walk through the process of obtaining two pillows' worth of duck feathers.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• bread
• a lake, most likely
• ducks
• transportation, if necessary
• bravery

1. The first step is to buy bread. You can buy any sort of bread, but if you're serious, I'd recommend any bread wrapped twice. That means it's fancy.

2. Once you've got your fancy bread, you need to find a lake (or other watery area frequented by ducks.)

3. Great. You've found a lake, bread in hand. Next you'll need to find some ducks. Ideally, you already know what a duck looks like, but if not, go here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duck. Go ahead and read the whole article. The more you know about your friend the duck, the better.

4. Armed with courage, a vast and growing knowledge of ducks, and one loaf of fancy bread, approach the ducks. Throw bread at them. Not the whole loaf. Take out a slice and break it into manageable portions. This is the hardest part, but you don't want your new, feathered friends fighting over these whole wheat treats.

5. Okay, so now you're friends with a bunch of ducks. They like you, because you have bread. Here comes the delicate part: While holding a piece of bread in one hand, lure a duck close to you. They're paranoid creatures, so this isn't as easy as it may sound. Now, right when the duck makes a grab for the bread, reach your other hand out and pluck one of its feathers. This will anger the duck, so you should run.

6. Depending on how long the duck stays mad, you might have to find a new lake. However, if the ducks are quick to forget this little mishap, try your luck again by repeating the process.
   Keep doing this until you have two pillows' worth.

Tips & Warnings

• Don't skimp on quality bread. Would you feed rocks to your children?
• Ducks bite. Unless you're okay with getting bit by a duck, you shouldn't take the risks outlined in this article, even if a duck feather pillow would be really comfortable.

Resources

• Learn about ducks on Wikipedia

[cornishidiot]

on 10/20/2009 This is awesome, thankyou for the heads up and duck catching tweaks, im not quite confident in my feather plucking techniques (iv been practising on my little sister) Iv a loaf of warburtons and im off to the woods.

p.s.

Pambetts what happened? Did u fall out of bed and land with a angry dildo up your ass on the day you posted this?

[belle2starr]

on 4/13/2008 Cute but kinda of mean Nah it's cute !!!Besides duck can handle us silly humans and as I'm running away I would drop the bread !!!

[Pambetts]

on 10/7/2007 Unfortunately, I really wanted to know how to harvest, clean, and prepare the feathers to make pillows. I had thought this site was serious and these feeble attempts at humor are quite a disappointment.