How to Ruin Someone's Life

You've been patient for too long, sitting back and taking everything your foe has dished out. Silence was your defense as she ruined your reputation, beat you for that promotion and stole your sweetheart. Instead of petty retaliation, you want to ruin her life. Fortunately there is a sure-fire way to ruin someone's life without getting yourself into trouble.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• A fabulous wardrobe
• Access to trendy clubs
• The paparazzi on speed dial

1. Befriend your mortal enemy. It's like they always say, keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. Get to know the person and let her think you are friends. Gather information and direct some of her actions based on this new relationship.

2. Help her become famous. Fortunately today's media makes it easy for a person to become famous without having any discernable talent, skill or beauty. Use your wiles to get into the hottest clubs in town. Encourage her to wear the trendiest outfits when she accompanies you to parties. Underwear optional.

3. Tip off the paparazzi when you think she's about to do something dumb. Be on the lookout for nights when she's had a little too much to drink while wearing sky high heels. Put on your big sunglasses and stay well behind her as someone escorts her outside into the glare of flashbulbs.

4. Invent a scandal. Disguise yourself and call the weekly celebrity tabloids with a juicy story that's sure to land her on the cover of every magazine. You can get a lot of mileage out of pregnancy and drug rumors, but a sex scandal works well too.

5. Give an interview as a "concerned friend." Use the opportunity to spill the beans about every bad thing she's ever done but pass it off as your desire for her to "get well."

6. Sit back and watch your hard work pay off. Stop taking her calls and sign a deal to write a tell-all book. Ruin someone else's life while making a little money for yourself.

Tips & Warnings

• Do not do anything illegal. There are plenty of ways to get back at someone without getting yourself into trouble.

[dhruvp]

on 11/21/2009 I'm doing this to Amisha she's way too hot for her own good anyways

[kimmieso87]

on 7/1/2009 lol I love this article although its wrong its also right lol...