How to Cope With the End of a Friendship

By eHow Relationships & Family Editor

Rate: (7 Ratings)

No one can deny how precious a true friendship is. That's why we're hesitant to let go of our friends. Unless she's done something really unforgivable, like marry the ex-husband you still care about, you want to believe it can get better. But you have an obligation to yourself to let go of a toxic friendship. Here are some tips to help you after the friendship ends.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

Step1
Let yourself feel hurt. Denying that you're sorry the friendship had to end will keep you from letting go. You'll suffer some bad days but at some point, you'll be ready to move on.
Step2
Ignore phone calls and emails. Screen your calls and delete voice messages before even listening to them. Turn off the feature in your email program that lets you preview messages and delete your friend's messages unopened.
Step3
Reach out to family. Make it clear to your husband, kids and mother that you're not interested in discussing the end of your friendship. Find fun activities to do with them to help you let go of your pain.
Step4
Reach out to your other friends. Now's a great time to reconnect with true friends you haven't contacted in a while because of distance, your busy life or your preoccupation with your previous friendship.
Step5
Explore relaxation techniques to get your mind off of your friend. Learning Meditation website has audio and text files to walk you through meditation sessions. Try body work like yoga or crafts like knitting.
Step6
Do something you've always wanted to do but never found the time for. Reconnect with nature through hiking and camping. Take up painting or a musical instrument.
Step7
Seek counseling if none of these techniques helps you let go. The end of a close, long-term friendship can be traumatic if the relationship was particularly toxic and you're fighting insecurities that interfere with your daily life.

Tips & Warnings

  • Resist the temptation to ask mutual acquaintances about your friend. Everyone in your life needs to know you've let go of the friendship.
  • Give away her gifts you never really liked but kept to avoid hurting your friend.

Comments

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on 12/4/2007 Ending it is not easy. This gives some ideas, but how do you end it decisively and with no hard feelings? Is there any way to do this?

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on 9/24/2007 The article "How to Cope With the End of a Friendship" is useful. Here is my case:
She wants to end your friendship, due to a misunderstand issue which is not serious and harmful. Basically, I don't intend to make and lose a friend. But her words are bad and weird and blame for my personal origin. She actually hurts me. We are different nationalities (Vietnamese-Japanese), cultures, backgrounds.
"How can explain the misunderstood issue then end the friendship?"

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eHow Article:  How to Cope With the End of a Friendship

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