How to Relate to a Cross Dressing Spouse

An admission of cross dressing can create a rift between spouses, even when the marriage was formerly secure. In the wake of this news, two people can find themselves unable to relate to one another. If the marriage is to continue, both partners must make a conscious effort to find middle ground. With patience and love, it's possible.

Instructions

1. Empower yourself. Your cross-dressing partner's clothing preferences do not define who you are, or reflect on you in any way. It's important you maintain your sense of self. As with any marriage, you cannot relate to your spouse in a healthy, meaningful way unless you are secure in your own self-image.

2. Remember whom you're dealing with. You fell in love with a person, not a wardrobe. Marriage is tough, but a marriage with a cross-dressing partner can be even tougher. This is particularly true when disclosure of cross-dressing behavior is recent. Remember your mate hasn't changed; you've just become more informed.

3. Talk to each other. When cross-dressing is admitted and laid bare in a marriage, resentments often build. A spouse can feel shocked and lied to, while the cross dresser often feels embarrassed and resentful over lack of acceptance. Admit your feelings to each other, but don't wallow in them. The goal is to develop an understanding, not to point fingers.

4. Give each other time. It's difficult for two people to relate to one another when the relationship is in upheaval. Let your cross-dressing spouse know you need time to digest the situation, but you're still here.

5. Forgive your spouse and allow your spouse to forgive you. From angry looks to out-and-out yelling, derision takes many forms. If you can agree you love one another, you can find a path to acceptance. Take the first step.