How to Help a New Widow

The death of a spouse is not only a time of sadness but a time of transition. When a woman becomes a widow she is dealing with her own grief and may also be dealing with practical matters. She may need to deal with loss of income, change of living arrangement and coping with being a single parent. Every new widow will handle things differently. If someone you care about recently became a widow, there are ways to help.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

1. Listen. A new widow may need to talk about her husband. She may want to discuss how he died. Don't offer clichés or platitudes, just provide a shoulder to cry on and listen.
2. Ask what she needs. She may want help with practical matters such as filling out life insurance forms or closing bank accounts. If she has children at home, ask if you can help with them. Don't assume you know what she needs.
3. Follow her lead. Some days a new widow may want to discuss her loss. Other days she may want to talk about everyday things. She may want a distraction for a while. Follow her cues and don't push her in any one direction.
4. Stay in touch. If your friend or family member does not want to go out or take calls that is understandable. Leave her a message that you are there if she needs you and are thinking of her. Don't take it personally if she does not return your calls for a while.
5. Lend a hand. Dealing with grief can make everyday chores seem overwhelming. Bring over a few meals, do yard work or run errands. Ease some of the burden for her.

Tips & Warnings

• Do not judge her. Everyone grieves differently. She may go back and forth between stages of grief.
• Do not put a time frame on her grief. Allow her whatever amount of time she needs to cry, discuss her loss or be alone.
• Don't tell her how she should cope. You are there to provide support and be a friend not to fix her grief.

Who Can Help: