How to Talk Trash in Basketball

You cannot play basketball without running into someone who talks trash. No one really knows exactly when it started, but it became a well known part of the game in the 1980s, but really took hold in the 1990s. In the past only the best players would dare talk trash. However, anymore any scrub who can pick up a ball will run his mouth on the floor. The question is do you want to talk trash back? If so here is how.

Instructions

1. Keep it simple. Do not try to make arguments or say anything that will take too long. You only have split seconds to flap your gums. Do not get involved in anything that will require you to say something equivalent to the annual state of the union address.

2. Stay cool. The idea behind talking trash is to get the other guy upset so that he either stops thinking about his game or gets so focused on it that he wilts under the pressure. If you get caught up in it to the point where you are more determined to stick it to your trash talking opponent than you are winning the game he has succeeded.

3. Talk offensively and not defensively. Make your noise after you do something good. The other guy will start trying to match you and at that point you are in his head.

4. Stay away from anyone who is much more talented than you are. If there is a player who is obviously much better than you, do not start talking trash with him. This will only motivate him to do his best and that means trouble for you. A lot of good basketball stories start with a lesser player tugging on Superman's cape.