How to Plan an Orthodox Jewish Wedding
An Orthodox Jewish wedding is rich with tradition from thousands of years of practice and devotion. Details are important when planning such a wedding, down to the small glass the groom steps on after the marriage is official. Keeping track of everything necessary to create a meaningful Orthodox wedding is a challenge that definitely reaps tremendous rewards.
- Difficulty:
- Moderately Challenging
Instructions
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1
Choose a date. The date of a wedding has special significance in Jewish life. Many chassidic Jews get married on special days marking the birth and the death of their great rabbis. Pay attention to certain times of the year, such as the Omer period (the time between the holidays of Passover and Shavuot) and the three weeks in the months of Tammuz and Av when weddings cannot be celebrated.
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2
Determine a venue. In traditional communities, wedding halls fill up fast, so booking a venue is the first thing you should do. Make sure there is enough room for dancing and a mechitza (a divider to ensure men and women are separated for reasons of modesty).
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3
Select a rabbi to perform the wedding and a sofer (Jewish scribe) to write the Ketuba, or religious marriage contract.
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4
Invite guests to your wedding. Have invitations printed by a company that deals mainly with Orthodox weddings. Once you receive news of who is coming, you can start to tell the kosher caterer the approximate number of guests.
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5
Explain to immediate family taking part in the ceremony that they should dress properly. Women should wear dresses covering the knees and arms to the elbows, married women should cover their hair and men should wear yarmulkes.
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6
Make the chuppa, or wedding canopy, out of a velvet cloth or a prayer shawl suspended on four poles. The chuppa is meant to symbolize the clouds that provided the Jews with everything they needed when they left Egypt and lived in the desert for 40 years.
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7
Obtain the dress, rings (which should be plain bands with nothing engraved on them. In some haredi or Ultra Orthodox circles, men do not wear wedding bands). The bride also wears a veil, which may be thicker than in other kinds of weddings.
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8
Schedule time for the veiling ritual before the actual wedding service. The groom comes to the women's side of the hall and covers the bride's face with the veil before the ceremony begins.
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9
Designate seven men to say the blessings over wine under the wedding canopy.
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10
Provide a glass of wine that will be drunk as blessings are said under the chuppa and will eventually be broken to represent the destruction of the Temple.
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Reserve a private room for the couple to share immediately after the ceremony. This is called the "yichud room" and the couple are expected to be alone together for a period of time before going to the hall to eat a festive meal and to dance.
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Tips & Warnings
Use a wedding planner if you feel it may be difficult to remember all of the details.
Attend another Orthodox wedding if you are unfamiliar with the rituals involved.
Do not schedule a wedding on Friday night or on Saturday day, because this is the Jewish Sabbath. Be careful not to plan the wedding for a Jewish holiday or during certain times of the year when weddings are forbidden. Consult a Jewish calendar.
